Let Go and Let God

Like everything else we talk about, it's all about God.  It's Him that gives us the strength to stand.  It's Him that causes our hearts to stay soft.  It's Him that leads us down the path that we must walk.  He's the One.  He's the One that will be bringing your spouse home.  He's the One that will cause you to be ready for them to come home.  That brings up a great question: Are you ready for your spouse to come home?

If your spouse walked through the door could you welcome them with open arms as the father welcomed his prodigal home?  Do you need to hear them give a speech? Do you expect them to owe you? Do you expect a honeymoon stage?  Or do you just want your spouse back where God wants them and allow God to keep working on them?

When God brought Josh home, Josh was in no way sweeping me off my feet and apologetic for his behavior.  It was only prayer that kept him home.  So, if you think that it's hard to pray your spouse home don't think that the battle ends there.  The battle to keep them home is just as hard, if not harder.

Your spouse heard you say your home was a safe place; they heard you say you wanted them home.  They want to know if it's really true.  They know they have done wrong but they will not knowingly walk into a place that is full of misery.  Misery comes from the devil and the devil has just spent the the last few days, weeks, months, and years making them miserable...do you think they want to move back into that scenario?  So, here's the question again: Are you ready for your spouse to come home?

Have you allowed God to work and change YOU into the spouse He has called you to be?

Every time you have an argument do you bring up the past?  Do your conversations always end up in an argument?  Remember about misery?  It's from the devil.  And your spouse doesn't want that.  They want peace.  They want to come home to peace.  Are you showing them peace?  Peace comes from the Prince of Peace.  So, the question we asked must be turned into: Are you being Jesus to your spouse?

We are called to be like Jesus.  We are called to love like Him.  Unconditional.  Without reservation.  Some would call it tough love.  Jesus loves each of us like this.  Regardless of what we do to Him He continues to love us.  He never punishes us.  His love calls us into right relationship.  And the same applies to our spouses.  We are not called to punish them for what they did to us.  We are called to love them back into right relationship.  Yea, they might just keep taking from you and not giving anything back.  How many times have we done that to Jesus and His love has not faltered towards us.


We have been on this path for about 5 years, and we know that bringing up the past is going to happen.  BUT it does not have to happen in the middle of a fight.  There is nothing more harmful than attacking your spouse for the wrongs they have done.

Josh is up in New York right now.  Yes, my husband who spent years and years cheating on me is in a strange city, hotel rooms, bars, and free time.  Did we talk about the past before he left? You bet, we did.  Did we fight about it--NO!  Being wise in conversation is a good thing, talking about touchy subjects is good.  You will not grow and heal without them, but you have to pray for God to bring your spouse to that place.  Remember, we have been on this road longer than most of you, and Josh was NOT going to talk peacefully when he first came home.  You can not expect your spouse to be like Josh is now when he comes home.  It would be reasonable to assume that he will try to sneak off and hook up with his mistress.  You should probably expect that he will yell at you and make life miserable.  You might expect that you will never get past that first week.  But you will.  Keep praying and be sure to keep your heart quiet.

I don't trust Josh to keep his act together. I don't trust myself to not fall.  I would be a fool if I did.  I only trust God to keep us both.  Our relationship with God is what keeps us from falling.  Sending Josh away may not be easy, but it helps me to keep trusting that God is going to protect us.

It may sound cliche' but the adage, "Let go and let God" couldn't be more true.  We must let go and put complete trust in Him in order to restore our broken lives and marriages.