Two Wrongs

I'm sure that many of us grew up hearing this from our mothers at one time or another, "Two wrongs don't make a right."  In response to this, I'm sure we've heard, "Yea...but it makes it even!"  Our moms were right; two wrongs don't make a right.  But, our response to that is wrong.

Yea, you've been hurt.  Maybe cheated on, maybe disgraced, or maybe humiliated.  But, just because we've been hurt does not give us the right to turn around and hurt them right back.  In the marital context, carrying out your own version if justice by doing to your spouse what has been done to you is wrong.  Is beginning a new relationship because your spouse started one, first, make it right?  Is it right to lie because they lied first?  Does belittling them and making them smaller, in turn, make you bigger?  Should you disgrace them because they did you?  Acting out in these ways to "get back" at your spouse doesn't make you right, bigger, or more righteous.  Actually, it cheapens everything about you.

God has a lot to say about this.  In Romans 12:19 He says that vengeance belongs to Him and that He will repay.  And in Matthew 5:39 He tells us to turn the other cheek.  The path of Jesus is not the same one that the world displays.  The way of Jesus goes against our human inclinations and demands of us a holy response.  The way of Jesus and the way of the Kingdom is backwards to human understanding.  To be great you have to be low.  To receive you have to give.  To live you have to die.  To be forgiven you must forgive.  To be avenged you have to relinquish that right.  These concepts don't make to sense to us naturally but we were not called to live and respond with a natural mindset. 

If we are truly standing for our marriages, then there is no room for cheap justice through human vengeance.  There is no room for our own idea of recompense.  If we desire for God to bring about the full restoration then we must give Him the room to do what only He can do.  If He sees fit to bring about vengeance on your prodigal spouse, then that is His business and His call.  If He decides to show mercy on them, that is still His business and His call.  And we cannot get bent out of shape and throw a temper tantrum simply because He didn't do what we wanted to do to them.

Basically, we are calling you on the carpet on this matter.  If you have been contemplating thoughts of "getting them back", we would challenge you to check your spirit and heart.  Are you acting the way that the Father expects from His child or are you acting like a bastard?  Are you resembling Christ in word and in deed or are you seeking to have yourself avenged by your own twisted sense of justice?

If we want for the holiness and righteousness of God to permeate our marriage, in spite of the current situation, we MUST keep ourselves firmly planted in His holiness and righteousness.  His presence cannot come into our lives or marriage any other way.

Josh and Serena