Are You Really Ready?

What does your heart look like?

When your spouse feels that tug in their spirit and they cannot run any longer, is your heart and your home ready for them to return?  Believing that there is a set formula that God uses in order to move on your spouse's heart would be foolish and set you up for disappointment, but I do believe God is looking at our hearts.  Are they soft?  (Have we talked about this before?)  If your spouse comes home is their life going to be a living hell because you can't control your emotions? 

I (Serena) remember a moment where my emotions really felt out of control; it didn't help that I was also 7 months pregnant. When Josh first left it would NOT have been a pleasant home-coming; I am sure his life would have been miserable because I was not ready to fight for my marriage the way it needed to be done.  My spirit had resolve, but it was NOT at peace.  If you have decided to stand for your marriage, then you must come to a place where you have told God you will do whatever it takes.  You will endure the pain and you will endure it knowing that the temporary (yet seemingly unending) pain is for the greater good.  The suffering you endure is not just for your marriage it's for the marriages of generations to come.  Your heart must find the "peace that passes all understanding. (Philippians 4:7)" 

When you think of where you stand right now, do you find yourself constantly discouraged?   If your spouse comes home today and you haven't discovered peace while you have been waiting.....they might just walk out again.  You have decided you will stand but if they come home are they going to be glad they did?  Have you allowed God to work in your heart, body, mind, soul, and spirit?  Have you been changed to the point that there is no turning back? This experience should be changing the very core of who you are; you should end up becoming more like Christ.  The light of Christ should be shining through the despair and, if it is, people will see it.  BUT it has to be real; this can't be about "winning" your mate.  They are not a prize to be won.  If they are, then the minute there is a back-sliding, a stumble, or a tough day you will give up.  Believe us, those days do happen!  The marriage will still be work even with many battles having been won. 

We encourage you, as always, to examine your heart. Is bitterness creeping in?  Is despair, fear, and doubt trying to keep you from standing?  All of these things need to be dealt with so that when your spouse returns home they know you mean business...that you said what you meant--'til death do us part.  This means that you are going to continue standing even if it feels like it's killing you....you're still breathing, right?  As long as we have breath...WE STAND AND FIGHT!!

Josh and Serena