Marriages tend to go up and down, a coming together and moving apart; I would say this can be in any marriage. The degree of severity, well, that will definitely play a part in how much healing needs to take place. BUT relationships have ups and downs. It's more visible in a broken down marriage. One person is being distant and the other is actively seeking to hold the relationship together.
The spouse that has left will still feel an emotional pull back into the relationship at times. If the spouse at home has moved on, then the ability to reconnect is most likely gone forever. That is why we have this blog to share the importance we feel for the deserted spouse to be ready at all times to accept, with open arms, the return of their prodigal. As Christians, we are called to forgive those who have offended us just as Christ has forgiven us.
"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.'" Matthew 18:21-22
In the Jewish culture at the time of Jesus, the number "seventy times seven" was infinite, meaning you had to forgive not just 490 times....but an INFINITE number of times. Jesus was trying to show us that we were to forgive an offense, no matter how many times it was committed against them.
So it is with a spouse seeking reconciliation of a broken marriage; the standing spouse must always be ready to forgive. Yes, no matter what offenses may have occurred. Yes, no matter how many times it's a REPEAT of the SAME offense.
When your spouse feels that tug home, you need to be available, ready to accept unconditionally. Many marriages have failed to be restored because the standing prodigal has grown tired and weary. OR they have decided to judge their spouse for all the pain and suffering they have caused through their selfish actions. Yes, it's hard to keep your mouth shut, but it HAS to be done. And remember how we are supposed to be like Christ? He is our example, right? He was brutally beaten, scourged, had a crown of thorns shoved on his head and nails driven into His hands and feet, and yet he was not angry. He did not judge. He was dying on the cross, and His heart was soft. He forgave.
"Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.'" Luke 23:34
Honest, Josh did not always know what he said or did while he was gone. In fact, some things I have even forgotten, but I wrote in my journal. We don't remember all of the details because God has brought healing, but some things Josh still doesn't even remember. This is because Satan had gained control of his thoughts and actions, causing him to be cold and calloused and go deeper into a life of sin. Josh was in great need of my prayers and forgiveness. Because he had decided to push God away he needed to see a picture of forgiveness (Christ) through me.
Love means being able to forgive, regardless of the cost or personal hardship. Love means sacrifice. If you are unable to forgive, ask Jesus to show you the heart He has for your loved one. He will give you the strength and courage you need to extend the warm hand of forgiveness to the one that has hurt you so deeply. It is only through Christ living within you that love and forgiveness will prevail in your relationship. Let Christ bring healing to your home through your willingness to forgive the unforgivable. We have never once made it seem like standing for marriage will be easy; we assure you...it is NOT. It will cost you something...intercession costs you something....LOVE costs you something. Are you willing to pay the price?
And forgiveness doesn't just have to be about marriage, or a prodigal spouse; we all have people in our lives that we struggle to forgive for offenses against us. Unforgiveness in your heart hurts no one but yourself. Pride keeps us from being able to forgive. Let it go! Allow Christ to heal the hurt and let Him bear it. He died for the forgiveness of all men's sins, not just yours. So, let's forgive like Christ.
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:29-32
Josh and Serena
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