Leading up to that day (it was the 9th, so you know) I had no intention of leaving my family. I was getting bolder in my forays into darker territories but still no intention of doing the things I did to my family. I had figured that this relationship would be just like all my others. However, the devil had other plans.
And, as a teaching point, that is EXACTLY what the enemy would want you to think...that this time will be like the last time and other times. But, by the time you realize what has happened, his hooks are in you and you become his marionette. He pulls the strings and you dance his dance. You may have no intention to go that far but the devil's plans call for that specifically.
The day that it all went down, it felt like a switch had been flipped in me. No longer was it me but someone else saying those words and doing those things. The "good" side of me had be short-circuited and, now, the "bad' side had taken over. Deep down I knew what was right and what I was supposed to do. But, I was tired of putting on that mask. I had been living two lives for so long that sooner or later one of them had to do away with the other. And because I had not fed my spirit, my flesh took over.
Not sure why I am telling you all this today but it needs to be said. Maybe you are the one that is leaving, has left, or is wrestling with two lives. If so, do WHATEVER you must to feed your spirit. Take a personal day at work to get alone with God. He will meet you there if you give Him the time and space to talk to you. Please, don't go down the road that I did. Don't put your family, your wife, your husband through the hell that I put mine through. Four years later and we are still dealing with the wounds and scars that I caused.
Or maybe you are the one who got left. You need to understand some of the workings of your prodigals mind. They may not even be aware of the things that they are doing. The switch might have been flipped in them. Your prayers need to be that God would work on that spouse and that whatever got broken and short-circuited would be made right and whole again.
It is never...and we do mean NEVER...too late for you, for your spouse, or for your marriage that God cannot make new that which is broken. Don't give up! Don't stop standing!
So we can end this post on a positive note....we are great, now! Yes, we deal with the hurt, pain, wounds, and scars from days gone by but they are only minor issues that are usually gone within hours or minutes of their coming to light. We are madly in love with one another. Sometimes it is hard to deal with the past but the Father has kept His promise to us....
Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good
of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Josh and Serena
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