Never stop standing! Josh would often say that I should not give the kids hope that he would come home. He did not want our children to have ANY hope that he would come home. That is normal for the prodigal spouse who is gone. The prayers of our children are VERY powerful. Why would HE want to encourage something that could potentially damage his plans?
Am I saying that you should make your spouse look bad in front of your children? ABSOLUTELY not! You are there to protect your spouse, regardless of what they have done, regardless of them being gone.
You need to live, walk and act like a Christian spouse who believes in the power of prayer and in the mighty power of your Lord God. You need to teach your children about prayer and how to pray for problems in their daily life.
Your spouse does not want your child to become confused. He does not want to give them any hope or encouragement that they are coming home.
I often told my children Bible stories about impossible situations in the Old Testament. Then I would say, "That is why I believe that God can bring Daddy home." We just have to trust, wait and believe that God is in control. Nothing is too hard for our Lord God to do." When they would became discouraged about how long it was taking I would just have to refer to waiting on the promises of God. We never know when the Holy Spirit is working behind the scenes. When we have joined ourselves together with God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit......we have three other fighters.....the BEST I know!!! So, when we got tired I reminded them that we had a LOT of other fighters, too!
Seek your Lord how to respond to your children according to their age. We must teach our children between right and wrong and making bad choices so that they will know the difference. My children just knew that Daddy was "running from God!" In years to come I am sure they will learn more and more as it becomes a part of our testimony and ministry. Do not tell your children things inappropriate for their age. They are hurting enough as it is. Saying something like, "Daddy loves someone else more....." that will only hurt them and make them question their father's love for them. If you believe God can handle the impossible situation, then it must carry over into what you speak to your children. This is NOT about taking sides. Your children do not need to have more than they can handle. When your spouse comes home it will be hard enough to bridge the gap of time, don't add more.
As the Lord leads, I am hoping to have more and more posts that will address these practical issues with children, dailiy life, etc. Pray the Lord grants me wisdom and the words to express His heart. These are definitely a personal conviction, but I pray my heart comes across, not in a condeming way. This is not an easy road to travel, but it CAN be done. I believe it also pleases the heart of God.
I would never stop standing or praying for my spouse who needs to be home to be the spouse and parent that God intended them to be.
May you consult the answers with an open Bible and an open heart, thus allowing God's Holy Spirit to help you find the truth.
4 comments:
Josh & Serena,
You're doing a fantastic job with this blog. It blesses me to see you ministering and standing for marriages with the power and authority of your own testimony.
Your approach is relevant, poignant, and effective. I know those silently reading are being stretched and encouraged.
Praying and believing with you for victory in marriages!
Thank you very much, Bonnie! It helps to know we have people like you praying us through!! Much love and thanks.
This is an especially valuable post... it is so important to protect our children's hearts, encourage them to continue to love and respect their parent (while still being honest with them) and constantly let them see that God is bigger than the family's problem. You guys speak from experience and that gives your words strength and power!
@Diane--thank you! I can thank my mom for making sure we were always respectful of MY father--always made to honor him, regardless of his actions.
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