A Daily Stance

We talk a lot about standing for your marriage. When you hear that someone is standing for their marriage, your mind immediately defaults to their marriage is failing. Not always true. Actually, standing for your marriage is an everyday practice as it is for extreme circumstances.

In Ephesians 6, it says numerous times to stand. Verse 11, "Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand against all the strategies of the devil." Verse 13, "...after the battle you will still be standing firm." Verse 14, "Stand your ground..." with all the pieces of God's armor.

Do we stand only when the bottom has seemed to fall out? Do we choose to stand after the devil has run rampant through our marriage? Do we only stand after the attack happens? I am telling you now...if you wait to stand until after the onslaught happens, your path to a victorious, healthy marriage will be a harder fight. You will have victory but the work needed to establish that strong, marital defense will be a harder fight. It's easier to keep the devil out than it is to make him leave!

Within the military, there are people whose sole job is to make battle plans for situations that may arise someday. They may never have to use those plans but they have made their stand. They know that within a few moments they will be able to execute their plans for the contingency. They have learned the value of a forceful stance.

So often our reactions to adverse situations in our marriages is one of frustration, depression, denial, and a general escalation of emotions. We cannot think with a clear mind and, therefore, we react to the person standing in front if us instead of a forceful response to the spirit that is motivating that individual. Instead of reacting to the individual, we should be responding with plans that we laid out in times of peace. When the devil rears his head within our marriage let him be met with a forceful and powerful stand. Heels dug in, shields up, swords drawn, and faces set like flint ready to engage the devil. Don't let him catch you with your hands down and not ready. We know that he will attack; we just don't know when it will happen.

We should be proactive in the good times. Let us make our contingency plans in times of peace. Always standing firm and always on guard. We do not decide to make a stand after the battle has begun; we decide to stand when life is peaceable.

What does all of this mean for you and I?

It means to begin overlooking some of your pet peeves that are nothing more than your personal preferences. It means to quit freaking out when he leaves the toilet seat up. It means to stop worrying and causing grief when she is running late because she can't find anything to wear. Stop constantly nagging him about chores you would like to see done around the house. Quit speaking down to her like she is someone beneath you. It means start bringing flowers home, guys. It means start having yourself put together when he comes home from work. It means putting the kids to bed early, shutting off the TV, and just hanging out together.

Men, it means to start dating your wife again. Flirt with her like an adolescent schoolboy. Start crushing on her again. Send her love notes written in the steam on the bathroom mirror. It means reading the Word of God to her and over her. Lead her in the things of God. Bring her home treats that she likes. Call her sometime for no good reason but to hear her voice. Listen to her...no, seriously....actually listen to her and what she is saying when she is telling you about the boring, mundane stuff about her day. (That one thing alone will work wonders, bro!)

Ladies, it means give him something to chase. Let him be your hero...again. Make a big deal about him killing spiders. Become like a teenage girl when he shows off for you. Become his biggest cheerleader. When he thinks you don't know he is listening, brag about him and how strong he is. Trust and believe that he will do what he said he will do. Follow him even if you know better...and don't tell, "I told you so" when it blows up in his face. Instead, encourage him and support him in the face of failure. (If you believe in him wholeheartedly and he knows this, he will challenge the very gates of hell for you, girl!)

The point of all this is this...MAKE YOUR STAND DAILY!! If you keep the devil out today, you won't have to drive him out tomorrow. It's the marriage that God entrusted you with. Protect it, keep it, honor it, STAND FOR IT!!

Standing with you,

Josh

P.S. And, men...pick up your dirty shorts!