Second Place

Their is a common misconception that marriage is to find a soul mate, to find someone that makes you a better person, to find someone to "complete you!"  Hey, even HOLLYWOOD says it...and we know "they" tell the truth about EVERYTHING! (insert sarcasm)

Without sounding too harsh, the problem with looking to another human to complete us is that, spiritually speaking, it's idolatry. We are to find our fulfillment and purpose in God . . .

God designed marriage to provide: partnership, spiritual intimacy and the ability to pursue God — together.

Satan is going to do whatever he can to make it so that THOSE things are going to be VERY difficult to accomplish.  So, what do you have a hard time with...any of these?  I certainly do!  As Josh and I learn more how to accomplish these things we pray that God gives us the practical advice and words to share.

If we put out spouse in a place that they need to be our "all" we are setting them up for failure.  No one can meet those expectations.  Our spouse can help move us into a good direction--my husband has done it many times--BUT we must not put them in a place above God.  God should be FIRST place.  Our spouse should take SECOND.

Everyone has bad days, yells at his or her spouse, or is downright selfish. Josh mentioned already about how our spouse can immediately change our outlook on life. Completely selfish turns into HAVING someone else to consider.  Living this way is not impossible, but it IS a challenge.  We cannot be selfish. 

We must realize God created marriage as a mirror of God's covenant relationship--you can see this throughout the Bible. For instance, Jesus refers to Himself as the bridegroom and to the kingdom of heaven as a wedding banquet.

These points demonstrate that God's purposes for marriage extend far beyond personal happiness. It is great to be happy, but you must realize that it is NOT the number one goal of  marriage.  Marriage promotes something of much higher value. Grasping this concept can bring you through some tough times. Our emotions are very fickle, and as we seek God as FIRST place we gain happiness from pleasing HIM.  Our happiness comes from pleasing our Heavenly Father. When we please Him our hearts will be soft, and in turn, we will find happiness in things we did not expect. Making God first will allow our marriages to fall in line with His will.  And, guess what?  Your spouse will NOT mind being second...he/she will LOVE it.

Our marriages need to point to our Heavenly Father and His existence.