Sometimes, I think we have a distorted view of our marriages. We have allowed the world and its way of thinking to overtake our own. Instead of us having the mind of Christ, we have the mind of the current culture.
The current culture says that marriage is an outdated social institution that can be revoked or annulled if one of the two parties says that they want out. This is contrary to what God established in the beginning.
The marriage that you are in (whether good or bad) is the one that you have. Mind blowing, huh? What I mean is that your choice has been made for your lifetime. No take-backs, do-overs, refunds, or exchange. God made marriage as one of few things that He established as permanent. I think my amazing wife posted about permanence not long ago.
Marriage is not only a legal arrangement. It is not only a cultural ceremony. It is not outdated or non relevant.
Marriage is, first and foremost, a covenant. It is a covenant between three parties (God, you, and your spouse) that is lived out in the physical by the joining of two (you and your spouse) that can only be successful by the sacrifice of one (you).
Marriage is not a denial of your own individual identity. Rather it is an enhancement of you. If God has called you to and blessed you with marriage, He is desiring to make you the best you that you could be.
You see, before we were married to our spouses, we were very selfish. Everything that we earned from our jobs only had to support our own desires. Sure, some of us had learned how to be generous with what we had but let's be honest...before marriage what we wanted we found a way to get. We wanted new clothes, we bought new clothes. We wanted to go on a trip, we planned it and made it happen. We had no need to be accountable to anyone. We were our own. No responsibilities apart from our own selves. To sum it up...we were selfish!
But after marriage, things changed. Suddenly, there was another person telling you to pick up your stuff. There was another person to contend with about what you were doing over the weekend. It seems that in an instant that you could no longer be selfish. There was someone there drawing the selfishness out of you and trying to replace it with true generosity. And...hint, hint...it wasn't your spouse. It was the first member of your covenant. God, Himself, was operating in your marriage making you the best.
Without marriage, you would not know patience to the extent that you find in carrying your covenant partners burdens. Without marriage, you would not know the meaning of self-sacrifice as you would when you sacrifice for the one you love. You cannot become the best post-marriage until all of the pre-married you decides to join the covenant.
When a covenant, like marriage, the parties involved must give everything to it in order to become truly successful. If they hold out on anything, it doesn't revoke the covenant; it makes the other parties work harder to hold up your side of the covenant. When God joined the covenant of your marriage He put all that He is into it. All of His joy, all of His peace, all of His strength, all of His everything is now yours. And you are welcome to use it whenever you need it without asking.
So, when you feel like giving up and being done, remember that at least one member (not you or your spouse) of your covenant is still fully committed to the covenant. He will be the one to give you the courage to stand even when hell is facing you back. He will give you the inspiration to keep going even when you are tired. He will give you the ability to rejoice in the midst of difficulties. And His causing you to remain where you are...that is, in your marriage...is for the purpose of making you who He designed you to be.
Let God have His perfect work in you through your spouse and through your marriage.
Standing with you,
Josh
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