Banana Bread

We're sitting here at the dining table trying to find something to share with you.  We have been at this for a few months now and we have set a precedent for having a post ready every day for you.  So, many times...ALL the time...we have to listen to the Holy Spirit telling us what to write.  He never fails to drop something in our spirits.  And, He has.

Across from where we're sitting is the doorway into the kitchen.  From where we are we can see bananas hanging from the banana hangar.  When we bought them they were yellow and firm, perfect for eating.  Now, 4 days after our trip to the grocery store and sitting inside of a warm house, they have begun to acquire these ugly brown spots.  They are still good to eat just not to pleasant to look at.  If not consumed by our horde of children soon, Serena will have to whip up some banana bread...with chocolate chips. (please, Babe?)

The point is that when we purchased them they were ripe and ready for consumption.  But, left to themselves they begin to turn and rot.  Nothing made them rot except for the natural process of things not cared for or used within their time.

Our marriages are the same.  When all of us got married, we were on cloud 9.  All was right and good in the world.  We were living on love and the world stopped for us.  Bills could wait.  Nothing was as important as your new spouse.

But, somewhere along the way...maybe a few months or a few years in...cloud 9 stopped being 9 and dropped to a 2?  3?  0?  Living on love didn't pay the bills.  And to our disbelief the world did NOT stop for us.  We got busy with life, the job, the pursuit of stuff and we left our marriage hanging on the banana hangar to rot.

We never meant for this to happen...but it did.  We didn't get married with the thought that in a few years we would stop putting work into it.  And now we look back and wonder where it all went wrong.  What was the breaking point?  When was the day that it slid down the toilet?  What happened that made me and my spouse the way that we are now and brought us to this marital crisis?

The truth of the matter is this....there wasn't "one" day or "one" moment.  There is rarely a single, solitary day or moment that altered the course of your marriage.  Things are the way they are because we stopped caring...just a little bit.

We stopped caring about how our actions made our beloved feel.  We stopped caring if our tone was appropriate for the situation.  We stopped caring about what our spouse thought.  We stopped paying attention to them and got caught up with other stuff.

Oh sure, we did the things expected of us.  We took out the trash and cleaned the house.  We went to work and paid the bills.  We took care of the kids and made sure that they were healthy and doing well in school.  We did the things that every good husband/wife is supposed to do...except love our spouse the way we promised.

Even the best of us can recall at least one moment where we were selfish or uncaring or unkind or impolite.  All of us have been there at one time or another.  So, don't be too hard on yourself.  But, now the question is, "Are you going to let the bananas rot on the hanger or will you do something about it?"  It's never too late to make a course correction.

So, wipe your eyes, blow your nose and go love your spouse.  Treat them the way you did back in the day.  It doesn't matter if they don't respond the way you think they should.  It only takes one to stop the cycle.

And besides...banana bread is better with fruit that is overripe.  It's NEVER too late!  NEVER!!!

Josh and Serena