Scarred

Take a look at your body.  I am sure that you have scars on it somewhere.  Maybe from an accident or maybe a surgery.  Maybe they are old scars, maybe new.  If you think about it, it's pretty hard to go through this life unscathed.  And besides, scars are cool!

Josh has a scar on his hand that is barely visible from a work injury when he was a teenager.  He has another one above his right eye from playing with the family dog as a child.  Serena has a scar on her head beneath her hair from hitting a rock while camping as a child.  She has one across her abdomen from having to have C-sections with the birth of our children.

We all have them.  Some bring back fond memories of good things that happened when you received them.  Some bring back painful memories that you wish you could forget.  Either way, we all have them.  Even our Savior, Jesus Christ, possesses scars from his time on the cross.  They remain on his hands, feet, and sides as reminder to us of the price that was paid for our ransom.

Not only do we have physical scars but also emotional and spiritual ones.  Those are often more painful and regrettable than the ones on our bodies.  And we're pretty sure that if you have been married for any real length of time that you have some from your marriage.  If you're standing for the restoration of your marriage and the return of your spouse, you most assuredly have scars associated with it.  And you will probably receive more.

However, scars can be hideous and ugly that are worthy of covering up OR they can be glorious and beautiful and deserving of being put on display.  It all depends on your perspective.

If the wounds you have received in your marriage have healed improperly, the resulting scars will most likely be hid from everyone's view.  You don't (or won't) talk about those things.  You avoid situations that would expose those hideous features that now adorn your marriage.  You find it easier to apply an emotional or spiritual cover-up to those areas than actually deal with the pain of having those wounds reset.

If the wounds that you have received in your marriage have healed properly, the resulting scars still will bring a twinge of regret and remorse over what caused them but will ultimately bring a sense of joy and exultation over the victory that has been won.  You don't mind showing those scars to others that may be walking a similar road.  You don't avoid those sensitive areas but embrace them as part of who you are now.  You know that the more your scars are on display the more you unashamed of them you become.  When you see them you don't shrink back in fear or shame.  Rather, when you see them you realize that the marriage that you wanted could not have come without the scars you now have.

I'm sure that when Jesus sees His own scars He does not curse the cause of the pain.  In fact, when He sees the scars He embraces the cause of them even more...you and I.  He remembers the pain that brought them to His body but He also remembers that WE were the joy set before Him and that He gladly endured what caused them.

You're not getting out of this without some collateral damage to your perfect profile and image.  So, you might as well get the right perspective from what is about to happen.  It doesn't matter if you walk the road we did or not.  Your marriage may never see the dark days that we did.  You may see darker days.  But, after it's all over you can either choose to have a bad attitude and curse the scars that are now evident in you OR you can have a REALLY cool story about those scars and how you got through those dark nights.  No one really wants to hear you complain but EVERYONE is always down for an interesting story about a scar.

Josh and Serena