Remember When

Think back, if you will, to a time when you were younger and were thinking about your future.  Maybe in your wildest dreams you dreamed of being an astronaut or president.  My mom (Josh) dreamed of being a race car driver when she was younger.  That's funny, to me, because if you met her you would never guess.  But, we digress...

When we were younger we were able to live in a world of fantasy where anything was possible.  Anything that we wanted to become, we could.  Anything that we wanted to do, we did.  Most females grew up thinking of and planning their wedding day with Mr. Right.  Boys don't really think about those things but Josh had always dreamed of having a family...his family.

Remember when she was all you thought about?  Remember when you used to pretend that you were Mrs. __________ and would write it out to see how it looked?  Remember when you first began to notice her perfume and how your heart would start to pound when you smelled it because it meant that she was near?  Remember when he could do no wrong and there was no one that could hold a candle to him?  Remember when her hand first touched yours and you thought you just might pass out from the sheer joy of it?  Remember when you purposefully brushed your hand against his to see if he would pass out from the sheer joy of it?  Yea, you remember those days.

But, what happened?

When did it occur to us that our wildest dreams had possibly turned into a nightmare that actually proved to be the harshest reality.  Life happened to us and we were caught unawares.  Instead of becoming a firefighter or policeman or some other wild career, we awoke to find ourselves 30+ years old, still in the same dead-end job out of high school or college with no hopes of it changing.  Maybe you found yourself at home trying to wrangle a household of children, dirty laundry, and bills with no appreciation for the work you've done.  When all of this hits home in our marriages we find ourselves married to some one who has become a stranger, either because we slowly grew apart or deliberately.  The man we married is rude, calloused, and unappreciative and shows not interest in you.  The woman we married is no longer the inspiration to do the crazy and wild things we did to win her heart; in fact, she has become boring and unattractive.

This may seem like a nightmare but, for many, it is a reality.  However, it doesn't have to be!!!

The power of our imagination that we once possessed as children is still inside of us.  We have to call it forth and challenge ourselves to recreate the life we want from the life that we have.  We are ABSOLUTELY NOT saying to drop everything, leave your spouse, and start over somewhere else.  NO WAY!!!  We are saying that if this is where you find yourself, it's time to make some drastic and permanent changes to the way you do life.  Life seems to have happened to you, huh?  Maybe it's time to make YOU happen to LIFE!

The woman that you married is still hiding in there under the surface.  She is just waiting for the man that she fell in love with to do it again...and again....and again.  Take some risks to win her heart back.  So, what if you've only got a few bucks until payday....spend them on her and not another 6-pack.  Call in sick now and then and spend the day with her; the bills and the work will still be there tomorrow.  Let her know that just the thought of her waiting to be with you keeps you alive.  Let her know how much you miss the scent of her perfume.  Chase her, guys!!

That man you married...you know the one....the dashing, handsome guy with the cavalier and rebellious outward persona but was an old softy on the inside when you finally got him opened up...yea, him.  He's still in there.  Maybe he has just become bogged down with the cares of this life and has forgotten that he was always man enough to handle it. (Love you, Josh...you are man enough!)  And back in the day, he was proud to handle life as it came if it meant that it would have impressed you.  So, tell him how amazing he is.  Tell him how impressive he is to you.  Do the things that first made him strive to impress you.  Let him chase you, ladies!!  (But, let him catch you now and then..it's really fun!!)

Folks, this is not about how to put new sparks back into your old, tired marriage.  It's about remembering what it was to dream and live that dream.  Your marriage can be all that you imagine it to be.  So, start imagining something greater than where you are now.

Josh and Serena