Our goal is to have peace and happiness in our homes but some days we have to work on this more than others. As homeschoolers, our children do not have the public school system or many of the same outlets that some families have to contend with. The media and movies are not something our family contends with but many other people across the United States or around world have this as a constant battle. "Entertainment" has changed so much in the last 30 years. It's common to use off-color jokes, innuendos, and profanity on television and in movies so that we have become desensitized to what is right or wrong. We must cleanse our mouths and minds. We must make a stand, for ourselves AND for our children. Someone needs to stand up for the righteousness of God. Maybe you were raised in a home that yelling was just the normal tone? It could be that you were never taught......but here is what we SHOULD be learning/teaching.
"He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity." Proverbs 21:23
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." James 1:19-20
"He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin." Proverbs 13:3
"Do not let your mouth lead you into sin..." Ecclesiastes 5:6
How many marriages do you know that have marriage problems or are divorced due to all the words that were said in the heat of anger?
Perhaps words have been used in anger in your marriage? During Josh's absence I was definitely a victim of verbal abuse. Insults were abundant and blaming me for everything that was wrong became way too frequent. In fact, I remember Josh being upset with me because I was going to cause Abishai to have an overeating problem, as we frequented the ice cream shop during Josh's absence. Abishai requested it often, as it was definitely something he enjoyed. So, we can relate to words being a problem. This is not only a problem that can happen between spouses, but we know as parents that this can be an even bigger problem. Our words are VERY important.
James tells us three easy steps that we ALL should take in learning to control ourselves: Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Easy, right? Honestly think about it. What would happen if you really thought about these three things when dealing with the words and behaviors of those around you? They are simple enough to not forget--although, understandably hard to apply. The Holy Spirit can give you the strength to apply these things, but you HAVE to be willing to allow Him that power. Often we read something, think it's a good idea...and that's the most we think about it.
If speaking out of turn is a habit you have formed, do you stop and pray before you open your mouth? It really doesn't have to be a big drawn out thing..."Lord, help me to control my words and actions. May I learn to speak and act as You would." Ask Him to give you the right words to say. Focus on yourself, NOT others. Then God can help guide you to pray for your spouse, if they need to learn to control their tongue. BUT do you always start with your spouse's faults? Do you look for something to focus on in them? Do you see that YOU have things to work on? Or is it all about them?
God has mercy on us, if we are willing to repent. Repent immediately for not showing your spouse the love of Christ. Ask the Lord to help you start fresh. When you mess up....you really need to ask the Lord for His help. There is nothing wrong with asking the Lord to protect your spouse's mind from the evil that may have come out of your mouth; pray against them replaying the argument in their minds. You need to be aware of Satan's tactics. It may not be lust in your marriage, but your words can be causing so much contention and strife that Satan is winning the battle for your marriage. It might be about the same things EVERY time, but you have got to learn the enemy's tricks. Our arguments are often over the silliest things, and if we are not aware Satan can turn things UGLY--really fast!!
Jesus Christ is the solution--plain and simple. He has the ability to change us, to make us desire to be more like Him. Our prayer should be: "Listen, for I have worthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right. My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse." Proverbs 8:6-8
Josh and Serena
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