When I (Josh) walked away from my family, I also walked away from over 10 years of ministry. Playing the keyboard, leading worship, and preaching were only a few of my duties as Assistant Pastor of my father's church. Walking away hurt many people, not just Serena and the children.
I (Serena) spent many evenings at Josh's parents home trying to NOT think about how my life was NOT what it was supposed to be at the moment. We watched movies, laughed, cried, and played. I wanted the boys to still have time to wrestle and play in Nana and Papa's backyard. It also allowed me more time to cry and not let the children see me. Josh's dad would drive with me into town, so that I wasn't alone. On the drive back to my house I had to call back and say I got home safely. Josh's sisters were always willing to take a child or two to play, so that I had more time. We didn't walk the road alone, that is for sure. Even Josh's Grandma and Aunt would slip us some money to go out to eat after church on Sunday, something we had always done prior to Josh's leaving. As best everyone could, we tried to make life a happier time.
And although, in the beginning, Josh's family felt that separation/divorce was the answer they most definitely did NOT stay that way. As more time passed, the fire for "standing" grew stronger. For some, it was realizing what they believed about marriage was being refined and tested. Did God allow for divorce? Was it okay? Was there a different path? Had anyone done this before? For others, it was just a matter of supporting what I believed. Since that time we have even received apologies for even suggesting that divorce was the answer. Thank you, to all of you....even when there was doubt it still HELPED to have you!!
When I would read something about standing or prodigals or something else that God revealed to me, I was on the phone to someone. Josh's dad, mom, sister, my mom, my friend.....anyone who was available. Most evenings I spent chatting or talking with my mom after the children went to bed. I was definitely blessed to have a great support system.
Josh's sister interceded for him in ways that are still "out of the ordinary" when we talk about them. Both Josh's parents spent many nights in tears and prayer. My mom fasted most nights from 8 pm to midnight. (Josh's WORST time.) E-mails to friends all over the world were written to start prayer chains and fasting...once a plan was decided, it was supported. Looking back I am so glad that I was not alone. I (Serena) had to keep it together and never forget what I was standing for, but I did NOT lack a crying shoulder. AND I knew that when I asked for prayer....that was EXACTLY what they were all doing.
Again, THANK YOU....to all of those who helped make the journey of "standing" just a bit more comfortable for all of us.
Josh and Serena
2 comments:
Serena, You were so fortunate to have others who would stand with you. Shoulders to cry on and people to talk to.
It is very hard to have to stand alone. When you have no one to talk to, no shoulders to cry on. When you ask others to stand with you and be praying with you, they aren't there for you. It is very tough to continue standing alone with no support.
No matter how many people you may have...you will still have moments of feeling ALONE.
When your "one flesh" is not where you imagine they should be or rather, KNOW they should be...it can be VERY lonely. BUT GOD....
Even with family around and three children I had MANY days of 'standing alone.' Protecting Josh's reputation as much as I could meant that I could NOT share EVERYTHING that was going on, to ensure that his return would be peaceful.....that meant I was alone with my hurts, even if I had family who were around.
Praying the LORD brings you the comfort you need...only HE can!!
Post a Comment