Recipe for Pancakes-Part 3

Yesterday's ingredient is mandatory to have in proper order with today's:

Love is...kind

Many times in our impatience, it leads us to being unkind--which is the exact opposite of love.  How many times do we speak unkind words to him/her because of anger and resentment?  How many times do we point out their mistakes?  Often times, we even use sarcasm as a mask to cover up sounding too mean!

It is hard for us to be kind if we are impatient.  Love is the motivation, patience is the understanding, and kindness is to be our action response.

How many times do I rush Josh to make decisions?  Do I have lists and lists of things he needs to do, knowing he hates lists? Do I nag about what I want done? How many times am I angry when he comes home late from work?  How many times am I upset when he doesn't text me back when what I had to say was really important?  Am I patient when he is running late on things I want done?  Or am I kind in the display of my love, even if it is not how I feel?

How many times do I make Serena feel bad because of the status of the cleanliness of our home?  Do I understand that her job lasts all day and is always present around her; where as mine, I am able to walk away from at the end of the day and leave 25 miles away?  Do I get upset at how often she interrupts my day with trivial phone calls?  Or do I, out of kindness, turn a blind eye to the circumstances and choose to show kind love?

We have a skewed view of what it means to display kindness.  We seem to think that kindness, like love, is about how we feel about the person we are displaying it to.  When, in reality, it has absolutely nothing to do with the other person but EVERYTHING to do with ourselves.  In M&P, kindness overflowed because of the tenderness of Serena's heart; not because I had made her feel so affirmed and loved.

Romans 2:4 Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin? (NLT)

Kindness is the only appropriate response from a heart that has chosen to remain soft and tender.  Something that we learned through Serena's standing for us:  If our heart remains soft and tender....naturally it will mean that it will hurt worse when the offense happens.  But by staying soft and tender towards your spouse, you will be ready and able to forgive them.  However, if you become hard you will hurt less when offense comes but unable to properly heal, unable to forgive, and unable to live. AND unable to properly accept your spouse when they ask if they can come home--in spite of how they treated you.

Don't set yourself up for failure by choosing to be unkind.  The Lord desires to display His kindness through you.  Will you allow Him to be gracious through you?  Do you have to be right or will you allow your heart reflect His kindness?