We would venture to say you would not be standing as strong. Not because we are so amazing (cuz we're not) or have some privileged revelation about marriage (cuz we don't) but because we are always stronger when we have support in our corner. This is not to say that you can't stand without us. However, we stand stronger together than apart. By us knowing that you are there reading, it forces us to find something to give to you. Which in turn forces us to dig deeper for more in our marriage and in Christ. We also know that you are praying for us. We, in turn, are praying for you and your marriage.
With all that being said, please do not look to us to be your rock in this time. We love being here for you but, inevitably, we will fail you. You HAVE to learn to stand on your own two feet. You have to find that place that you can go to and receive the strength you need. Here are a few things that will help you find your own footing so that you can stand through it all.
We would encourage you to learn two things; prayer and fasting. The kind of prayer that we are talking about is not simple prayers that we pray before a meal or before bed. We mean deep intercession for your spouse and your marital situation. Not only selfish prayers about bringing your spouse back to you, physically or emotionally, but prayers for God Almighty to arrest them in their spirits. That may mean you have to pray some very scary prayers (i.e. "Lord, WHATEVER it takes, bring him/her back to you..."). You need to learn to allow the Holy Spirit to pray through you. Stop now and go read Romans 8:26, 27. We cannot stress this enough; LEARN HOW TO PRAY!! This will be the most effective tool in your arsenal.
The second part of that is that you need to combine your prayers with fasting. Fasting most of the time indicates a forsaking of culinary pleasures for the sake of spiritual discipline. However, in our technological age that we live in, I think it also applies to social media, Internet, TV, or any other pleasures that bring comfort to our flesh. We give up those things that keep us from the face of God and earnestly seek His face. That might mean that you stop reading here and commit to a season of fasting. Your readership will be missed but knowing that you are seeking God's face will be an accepted reason for not reading!
A website that you might helpful in learning to stand on your own is biblegateway.com. They have search features and different Bible translations that you can access FOR FREE. Search for Scriptures about husbands and wives, about truth and virtue, about spiritual warfare, about seeking the face of God, or anything else the Lord lays on your heart...such as prayer and fasting. Once you have found some Scriptures that encourage you read them in different translations (New Living, King James, The Message, etc.) and learn a deeper meaning of what you are reading. Many times a different version will make all the difference in the world and suddenly you have a Scripture that will be like bedrock for you.
Study the Scriptures! Don't rely on what you hear from us or what your bff said or what your own pastor has said from the pulpit. Find out what God's Word says for yourself. When you learn something for yourself, you then OWN that knowledge and revelation. Once you have been persuaded by the Truth nothing else will be able to lie to you and bring you condemnation or guilt.
Learn to use a concordance. In case you don't know, a concordance is a bible study tool that helps you learn the meanings of words in their original language. You don't have to know Hebrew or Greek to use one. A Strong's Concordance is highly regarded as the best but it is based on the King James version of the Bible. There are other ones out there; check your local Christian book store for more information. But, in the age of the Internet, there is a Strong's Concordance online FOR FREE!! Don't you just love it? Find your Scripture or word within the verse, learn its meaning and how it is used in context, what tense it is in, and where else it occurs in Scripture. Soak in the deeper meanings of the Scripture.
We thank you for your readership and your allowing us to speak to you. We are humbled that we have the opportunity to share in your restoration process and honored to fight alongside of you. Keep standing!!
Josh and Serena
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