Love does not envy...
It is hard to notice when envy slips in. It comes in so easily. How often do I envy my husband because of his physical appearance or his ability to lose weight faster than I can? He can decide he will lose weight and it's done--just like that! Are you envious of your husband going to work, and you have to stay home? Or maybe it's the reverse? Do you think he has an easier job? Let's say he does.....aren't we still commanded NOT to be envious?
The root of envy is based in discontent. We are discontent in everything. It is no wonder that envy slips into our marriages. We have been brainwashed by our culture telling us all the things that we "need". When in reality life would go just fine if we did without those things and were just content with what we have.
So, how does envy creep in? You and your girlfriends are having a coffee together and you are talking about your husbands. Your girlfriend tells you about all the nice things that her husband has done for her. You think to yourself, "My husband doesn't do that for me. Life would be a whole lot better if he did." Why the discontent? What you don't realize is that this other woman's husband has a host of bad habits that would drive you bonkers! She can deal with them and love him anyways. You, on the other hand, would wind up pulling your hair out...but life would be a whole lot better if he did....
How does envy creep in, men? You and your coworkers are working away. Your coworker's wife was in the neighborhood and stops by to say 'hello' to her husband. You notice that she is dressed so much nicer than your wife. And your wife NEVER stops by to say 'hello'. You wish she would. You reason, "If my wife did those kind of things, my life would be so much more enjoyable." What you don't realize is that your coworker and his wife had a conversation that you couldn't hear. She asked him for money to spend on frivolous shopping and now he cannot afford to go hunting next weekend! Your wife never does that...but life would be a whole lot better if she did....
Ya'll get the idea!
An affair, at its root, is based in envy. You want what is not yours and you will pursue it until you get it. But, love does not pursue what does not belong to it. Love only pursues what has been given to it.
In Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married? a key marital concept is shared. It's called the 80/20 principle. Your spouse will only be able to give you 80% of what you need at any given time. But, we are discontent with the 80%. We are ENVIOUS of the 20% that we can find elsewhere. So, we pursue it. It's not until after we acquire the 20% that we realize how
Don't envy what is not yours. Pursue YOUR wife! Pursue YOUR husband! Pursue YOUR marriage!! When you do you will find that it really is EVERYTHING you ever wanted or needed.
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