Have you been there? Have you said it? Sometimes our marriages can cause us to express our emotions in a way that doesn't describe how we really feel. Most of the time when we say things like this it is usually said out of our extreme frustration to be unable to affect the change that we want to see in our lives. We usually don't mean that we CANNOT do it; we just know deep down that what our life is and what God designed it to be don't match and we don't know how to make them match.
Something that must be considered when making these statements is this: our spouses may not be able to fully comprehend what we mean. Don't be surprised when our spouses respond by giving you what you want...or what you say you want.
We need to be very careful with our words. The Bible says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. And for us to be careless with our words because of frustration is to wield a deadly weapon with no regard to the damage we are causing.
So, really we want to make our perception of our marriage and God's destiny for it to match. How do we do it? There are lots of things we can do to be prepared for that to happen and one of the major ones is by how we talk. What we say about our spouse, what we say about our marriages, what we say about what we will be able to handle, and what we say about our belief in what God is able to do will all affect the final outcome.
If you were to hang out with us for a while...you know, go through a few times of trials, struggles, or illness...you would hear us do a lot of talking about what we BELIEVE that God will do. It's called speaking faith.
Now, this is not the kind of faith talking that you find late at night from some wild-haired televangelist. And it's not the kind of name-it-and-claim-it that many churches teach as gospel. This is simply believing in what the Father put in His Word as promises given to us and for us to claim as our own. So, when we are sick, you would hear us declaring that we are the healed of the Lord and that He paid for our complete healing. And when we are facing serious financial crisis, you would hear us boldly saying that He is our provider and that He takes care of His children so that they are free from worry.
When it comes to our marriages, we (you and us both) need to begin to speak the things that the Father is able to do in our own hearts and the hearts of our spouse, as well as in the life and health of our marriage. God's Word says things like, "what God has put together let no man put asunder" and "they are no longer two but one flesh" (Matt. 19:6). His Word says that He can turn the hearts of kings like rivers (Proverbs 21:1) In Ezekiel 11:19 and 36:26 it says that He will put a new heart and spirit in us.
It says a whole lot more that you can claim as promises from the Master. Find them. Pray them. Speak them over your life and believe that He is able to bring them to fulfillment. Because you're not really done...you're just frustrated. Take that frustration and use it to make your stand. Stand on the Word and what the Father put in it. The Word works!!
Josh and Serena
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