Forgiveness and You

Forgiveness...do you do it?  Do you extend forgiveness to those that have offended you?  It is not fun, nor easy, but it is one of the beginning steps to restoring your marriage.

What has been done to you may be hateful and hurtful.  It may be full of lies and deceit.  The person that has done these things is the also the person that has promised to love and honor you.  The person that you have become joined together with is now attempting to tear you down.

We know...it hurts.  However, that does not change the fact that forgiveness MUST be extended to the offending party.  Like many things in the Kingdom of God, forgiveness goes against our natural tendencies and human logic.  Our human minds reason that we must make them pay for what they have done to us.  We must make them suffer.  However, holding back forgiveness does nothing to the person that has hurt you.  Withholding forgiveness only harms you.

The words spoken against you and the things done to you can become chains that would bind and hinder you from God's best.  Forgiveness has the ability to break those chains and release you from their power over your life.  But, withholding that forgiveness only adds more chains...chains that come from your own choices not by what has been done to you.

When you forgive someone, the feeling may not be there.  In fact, it is more likely that you will NOT feel like doing it.  Forgiveness is NOT a feeling; its a choice.  A choice that you commit to wholeheartedly.  The feelings may come later; they may never come.  But, your choosing to forgive will still release you from the chains of offence.

When the disciples asked Jesus about how many times to forgive (Matt 18:21,22), Jesus said 70 times 7.  That's 490 times!!  FOR THE SAME OFFENCE!!  It is said not to give us an exact number but to paint the picture that we forgive endlessly.  In the Lord's prayer (Matt. 6:12) we are instructed to pray that we are forgiven IN THE SAME MANNER that we forgive others!!  That alone might just make us change our tune...You should read the story of the ungrateful debtor in Matt. 18:23-35.

Would you dare to forgive your spouse for the things that they have done to you?  Would you dare to let yourself be hurt again and again by them?  You might get hurt....probably will.  But, would you dare to break free from the chains that bind you?  Would you dare to live free?

Josh and Serena