A Prayer

Father,

I'm tired.  I'm confused becoming increasingly frustrated.  I have done all that I can think of that is right and godly.  I don't know what more to do.

I know better than to ask You "why".  But, that is all I feel like asking You for right now.  I realize that You know best but it's hard for me to not question You and Your ways.  I guess that is the problem when me and my finite existence tries to comprehend You and Your infinite majesty.

This season in my life is harder than I think I can handle.  I never envisioned that this is where I would find myself in life.  My heart is screaming for You and it seems like You aren't listening.  I know that this isn't true; You always hear me when I call.  But, why are You so long in Your answer.

I hope You don't mind my honesty.  You already know what I am feeling inside so I might as well make it known in words to You.

Since You haven't answered the question of why I am where I am, will You give me strength to keep my head high and shoulders squared back?  Give me the strength to shoulder this season without complaint?  I know You have all I need and more.

Oh, and could You grant some peace to me, as well?  Your peace ends the confusion and clears the fog from my mind and spirit.  Your peace silences all the voices that speak lies to me and tries to make me quit.  You have brought me to far to leave me now.

You know my heart.  I hate it when I doubt You.  Sometimes my spirit is not as strong as it should be and I slip into the flesh.  Can You help my unbelief?  Will You show me more of who You are so that my doubts flee?  I know You already do, but will You show me more of Your love so that my fears flee, also?

I guess I sound kind of needy, huh?

May I tell You thank You?  Thank You for all You have done for me.  You have faithfully brought me manna in my wilderness.  You have not missed a day.  And I don't think You will.  You've told me all about Your mercies and how You make them new for me each day.  I love those.  It's pretty much the only reason that gets me out of bed each day.  You have filled me with Your own Spirit.  For all of that I am so grateful.

Now, will You help me show this grace and love to my spouse?  I won't be able to do it without You.  I am  going to take a big risk here and tell You that You can use me to show my spouse all the things that You are able to do.  I am Your willing vessel.  I put my own desires aside so that through me You would be glorified to the fullest.

I love You more than anything!

Your child