How do you carry yourself in public? I mean, if someone were to see you would they think, "They are SOOOO married!!" or would they be likely to hit on you because they think you are single?
Recently, I (Josh) saw someone we know that IS married but acts and carries themselves as if they were single. I asked Serena, "They act single, don't they?" I felt very sad because they have not fully committed to their marriage. It seemed as though they regret their marriage and would rather go back to the life they had as a single person.
By acting single, I mean VERY RARELY being seen in public with your spouse. I mean not wearing your rings (this goes out to both MEN and WOMEN). I mean surrounding yourself with, almost exclusively, other singles. This is not to say that you cannot be seen without your spouse, or that there is never a reason to take off you ring, or that you cannot have single friends. But, when things like this become the rule rather than the exception, you will begin to see signs of trouble and distress. Well, YOU may not but others will.
If you are married, that is, if you have made a vow and have committed your life to your spouse in word in has to be followed through in deed. You cannot become married, act single and hope to have a blissful marital experience. It just won't happen.
Being married and acting single would be like getting the career you have wanted and then spending your time promoting a competitors business. In the business world it's called a "conflict of interests." You would not keep your ideal career for very long with that kind of mentality. You won't keep a marriage strong for very long with that kind of mentality.
When we are apart, Serena and I still act married; which means we do not allow ourselves to be caught alone with the opposite sex. It means that, although, we speak to others we do not put forth effort into making the conversation linger and drag on longer than is appropriate. It means if you see one of us, the other is somewhere close. We are no longer TWO but ONE flesh; which would mean that even when we are apart, we are STILL one!!
When you were single you had the freedom to go and do as you please, for the most part. You can buy what you want without having to consult anyone. You set the pace of your life. You are single. But, when you get married, life changes. You can't just come and go as you please with no accountability. You can't buy whatever you want. You set the pace of your life WITH your spouse. This is not to say that you have restrictions and life becomes a drag. I (Josh) am having more fun being married than I EVER did single or when I chose to act single. When you become married, your experiences and joy and magnitude of life becomes magnified exponentially. Life is good single but GREAT married!!
So, reader, if you are single enjoy your singleness. But, if you are married, commit to you marriage and stop acting like you are single.
Josh and Serena
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