Help out with the housework. You're not too proud to pick up a dust rag or to clean the bathroom, are you? Taking care of the home might be what she does all day but when you offer to help out it says (through actions) that you appreciate what she does.
Give her time to take a bath. Now, guys, this is not a bath to get clean. It's a bath to relax her. One that does not involve children running in to ask questions. Which brings up another point...you take care of the kids for a time and give her some time off. Think about it....you GO to work and put in your time and then punch-out and GO back home. You get to remove yourself from your work and get a rest. Her work doesn't end. She has kids, laundry, housework, grocery shopping, etc. that NEVER ends. So, offer to take the load for a few hours. It will benefit her (letting her rest) and YOU (wait until she learns that you care about her work and that you appreciate what she does everyday...do I need to spell it out). You are grown man that deals with situations everyday at work. They are your kids and home, too.
Call when you are on your way home. Call when you know you will be late for dinner. Call her on your lunch break. Call her for no reason at all other than to say, "Hi. How are you?" Text her.
Don't be all about the physical aspects of sex all the time. Let it be about her. Spend as much time as she needs to get her in the mood. Talk to her, ask about her day, let her vent her frustrations, hold her in you arms. All of that stuff is foreplay for women. Get adept at doing it. It works! Guys, your wife is like a diesel engine...it may take her a while to warm up and get up to speed but once she is going she will run forever.
And don't...I repeat, DO NOT....try to fix everything. Men, we are fixers by nature. When we learn of a problem we want to fix it. Sometimes what your wife tells you does not need a fix. She knows what needs to be done and will do it but she wants you to HEAR her. Let her tell you all about the problem. Care about it...really care about it. Ask her questions. But don't fix it. It will seem weird to go against your nature but you will learn by her tone when she needs you to FIX it and when she wants you to LISTEN.
Buy her a treat on your way home from work. A little card is really great, too. Once when we were out shopping on a date I had to stop in to the restroom. It was occupied so I waited. While I waited I was flipping through cards near the bathroom. One of them said something about jumping her bones...so I bought it, wrote a little note and then slipped it in her purse without her knowing it. A little off-color but fun when she found it.
Now for the wives to the husband...I believe every woman already knows what to do to make her husband happy, at least for a short time. I am including it just so the men don’t feel cheated or think that I don’t understand what they really, really want. Make his favorite dinner occasionally, not just for his birthday. Bring him a beer or his favorite soda while he is out working or when he’s watching the game. Take off your clothes--anytime is fine!
It is best to avoid asking the question such as “What are you thinking about?” Men hate this because they know they will get themselves into trouble if they tell you what they were really thinking. Or they can't remember--because they really do sometimes NOT think....that's just a fact.
Always speak highly of him to others. Don’t call up your best friend to tell her about his latest stupid mistake.
Don’t cut him down. It may be tempting to tell him exactly what you think of him during an argument, but hold your tongue. Don’t remind him of his weaknesses at every opportunity. Most men are fully aware of their weaknesses and do not need reminding.
Be quick to apologize for snapping at him when you are tired and cranky. I absolutely hate it when Josh mentions that I am acting this way. I have got to learn to be honest that even though I HATE to be told that I am hormonal...THAT is also a fact, too! Now, Josh...this is NOT permission to tell me I am hormonal, this is just saying I should recognize it in myself. Women, we have GOT to stop finding excuses to behave in a way that is NOT bringing glory to God; isn't that our goal? In everything, to shine a light to Him. We may feel justified, but it is still not RIGHT.
Listen to what he has to say. This may include topics that you neither understand nor care to be enlightened about, such as the rules of fantasy football or a comparison of programming codes or music or math or gardening....I mean the list is endless, but your husband has SOMETHING he wants to talk about. Figure it out, because most likely if you have developed a habit of not caring they aren't talking to you because they have gotten the clue that you do NOT care. Start caring!! It might take more work to find what that is, but the reward is great. If you someday want to come home from a shopping trip and have him care about the great deal that you got you better start caring about when he comes home from work and wants to talk about the new irrigation system he installed. Remember the important things to HIM. Josh makes money by working for a local landscaping company. He spent his first few months on the new job blowing out sprinkler systems to prepare for winter; he had never done this before....so, it was something new to talk about. Are you continuing to show an interest? Josh had to spend the springtime turning the systems BACK on...this CAN be a delicate job for someone who has NEVER done this before. I have enjoyed cheering him on, as each system he turns on has been in perfect working order. He is AMAZING at what he does!! Does your spouse KNOW you think they are amazing?
Appreciate who he is and don’t try to change him. Really? I mean, it doesn't mean you won't find yourself slipping into a season of dissatisfaction, but you are really NOT accomplishing anything. It is such a waste of your time. Not only is it annoying, but you aren't doing any good. So, stop!
If you ever find yourself thinking that your spouse is just too difficult or there is just nothing you can do to make things better. Remember this.....How easy is it to live with you when all you do is complain about how difficult he is? Are you always a perfectly dreamy mate? I’m not! Do you want compassion? Give it! Do you want sensitivity? Give it! Do you want understanding? Give it! Do you want them to be your biggest fan? Start being theirs!!!
Josh and Serena
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