Milk and Pancakes

Have you displayed the love of Jesus to your spouse that is far (physically, emotionally, or spiritually) from you? Or do you only show love when love is shown to you first? Let me tell you a story about me and Serena...

As you probably know, I left my 6 month pregnant wife and 3 kids for a life that I thought I wanted. During that time, I was physically in my wife's house a few times. She had invited me over. Yes, you heard me right...SHE INVITED ME!

This was a very strange thing for me. I couldn't then, and I really can't now, explain the way it made me feel. There was one instance in particular that boggled my mind.

While I was gone I turned 30 years old. When my birthday happened she was all of 9 months pregnant. And on my birthday (since I felt I had "missed out" on this) I got blackout drunk. I could not remember the ride home or who took me home. I vaguely remember falling on the way out of the bar. And I had to work the next morning. I was so drunk that I was still inebriated at 7 AM as I drove to work.

That day I was framing in a landscaping structure. Drunk, on a ladder 8ft. in the air, and shooting 4 inch long nails with a nail gun. I almost put one through my thumb! As the day progressed I felt worse and worse. No food for me as I didn't think it would stay down.

Sometime during that day Serena called me. She asked how my party was and how I was doing. I didn't have a whole lot to say. Her care for me caught me off guard. She then asked if I wanted to come over after work for dinner. I was only pancakes but I was welcome to come. For reasons I don't know, I said yes.

Now pancakes were not going to sit well with my hung-over stomach but I still ate. As I sat at the breakfast bar in her kitchen, she served me. She offered me milk and made me as many pancakes as I wanted. She talked to me about nothing in particular. She did not ask me if I was staying because she knew I wasn't. She didn't ask me to stop living the life I was. She simply served her husband; her husband that left her alone and pregnant. No condemnation came from her lips. Only love for her husband who was hurting deeply but didn't know it (or wouldn't admit it).

We talked at the door as I was leaving about the kids and work. She asked me one time as I was walking out if I wanted to stay. I looked away and told her no. She knew the answer but had to ask. She watched me as I got in my truck and drove away.

It wasn't until after I was home for good that I learned the depth and strength that it took to do what she did. She loved me like Jesus loved me. She showed me Jesus when I couldn't see Him with my own eyes. I knew that many people loved me and were praying for me. But only my wife, the one that I offended the most, was the one that offered me Jesus in the form of a glass of milk and a stack of pancakes.

When Jesus was hanging on the cross, He cried out to the Father to forgive His tormentors. It was this type of love that my wife showed me. In one of my darkest and most alone times, my wife showed me light and love. I can only imagine the strength of character and love of Jesus that had to have overwhelmed her in order to do what she did.

So, I bring you back to the question I asked at the beginning....have you shown the love of Jesus to your spouse that is far from you? Or do you only show love when it is shown to you first?

Wherever you are...however bad your situation is or isn't...you have the opportunity and privilege to allow Jesus to love your spouse through you. For Jesus to choose to love your spouse through you is a high honor...even if it is as simple as milk and pancakes.

With tears in my eyes because of the love of Jesus displayed to me through Serena,

Josh