The past couple of days have been a rough patch of writing for us. Not because we don't care; we do. But, addressing abuse and unmasking the enemy can be a very exhausting task. Nevertheless, we know that these things must be said from time to time so that none of us can be excused for not knowing.
As we wrap up this short series on abuse, let's remember a couple of key points...
1. Divorce is not the answer. Because of the covenant that we lock ourselves into with marriage, divorce is an unnatural tearing. Even when abuse is present, divorce is not the answer. Divorce is simply putting a band-aid on cancer. Divorce does not deal with issues that need dealing with. It only temporarily removes the symptoms of the greater problem.
2. The enemy (aka the devil) wants you to lose. He will do whatever he can to make you fail. He will try to distract you, beat you, frustrate you and a host of other tricks. But, because we have God Himself on the inside we only have to not give up. The Father will do the rest. Don't look at the circumstances; look to the Eternal God that sees everything and is making a way for you to become restored.
2. God is greater. He is bigger than any abuse, any infidelity, any failure, any short-comings, and any lack. If we will hold to Him and not be so easily swayed by the doctrines of the world, we will see His ultimate power displayed through His restoration of our marriage.
3. You are not your own...you belong to God Almighty. As much as we may love our spouses we cannot lean on them to give us our identity. If we leave it to our spouses to tell us who we are we will wind up misshapen and retarded. And if our spouse has abused us in any way the damage done is that much greater. We must rely upon the Father to tell us who we are and remind us that we belong to Him.
We hope and pray that through our life and this humble blog that we are able to help even one person stand for what God has given to them. We love you all and pray constantly that His Holy Spirit would guide you on this journey.
Josh and Serena
Showing posts with label Abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Abuse. Show all posts
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Emotional Abuse
Our bodies were created with the ability to heal itself. When our body receives an injury, large or small, it immediately begins to heal itself. Our bodies can fight off infection resulting from an injury, can regrow new bone where one has been broken, and construct new blood cells to name a few ways that our bodies work to restore itself back to health.
However, our souls- the intangible piece of you and I that floats between the spirit and the body- does not have that ability naturally. That is why emotional abuse is almost more diabolical than physical abuse. Your body can recover and heal itself; your soul begins to feed on the injury and it turns into a cancer of the soul, eating away at all that is good and lovely.
Our souls are a most interesting piece of our make-up. We are the only created being that possesses a soul. Animals and plants do not have this. We were made in the image and likeness of God Himself. God blew into Adam's nostrils and filled him with His own life and man lived. No other being has God's breath filling and flooding their life. However, when Adam sinned and took all of us with him into a life of sin there was a severing between our soul and God's Spirit. We have been trying to get back to that place since the fall and this is why Jesus came. When the disconnect between us and God happened, our souls were left to fend for themselves. When we were connected to Him, His divinity was easily supplied to our inner man and we did not know sickness or injury to our souls.
Our souls are fed by whatever they are connected to. When we were connected to God, He feeds us and supplies what our souls need. When we are connected to something or someone other than God, our souls lack the completeness that was found in God. As a result, our souls become twisted, deformed, and vulnerable to any and all attacks. This is why emotional abuse is so deadly. It has the ability to kill from the inside out.
Victims of emotional abuse do not fit into any mold or demographic. On the outside they may look right as rain but on the inside they are crumbling to pieces. They put up brave fronts to the world but in secret they deal with depression, physical self abuse, and suicide. And within the marital context, the victim's mentality is extremely dangerous.
When we all pledged our life to our spouses, we joined our soul to theirs. We are no longer two but one...not only in body but in soul and spirit as well. And being joined to another in this manner, we allow ourselves to be opened up to anything and everything that our spouses connect with. They are able to access your deep inner man and you have access to theirs.
What does emotional abuse look like? That is a hard question to answer. It could look like nothing; it could look like everything. It can take the shape of rude and insensitive comments. It can take the appearance of belittling and hateful words. It can be no attention given when it is needed. It can play favorites. It can be the silent treatment or shouting matches laced with obscenities.
The purpose of emotional abuse, from a human viewpoint, is to tear a person down from the inside so that they will not fight back on the outside. It is tortuous and inhumane. If you treated your dog in this manner, the authorities would take them away from you. But, in this world and culture we are taught to keep silent about such matters between husbands and wives. The purpose of emotional abuse, from a spiritual viewpoint, is to make you forget who you are and WHOSE you are.
The words that are spoken over and to a spouse can hit harder than a prize-fighter and can cut deeper than a surgeon's scalpel. A wound suffered in the soul is one that is virtually impossible to heal, especially when dealt from the lips of the man or woman that you pledged your life to. This is not to say that it cannot be healed. But, wounds in the soul can only be healed by the One that put your soul there to begin with.
Even if the victim of emotional abuse (outside of the grace of God) is able to reconcile on the outside with their abuser and that abuse never happens again, there will always be a tiny piece in the back of their mind that says, "What if...?" Only through God and His unending grace and mercy can a victim emotional abuse find the healing that they so desperately need. When you allow God to begin the work of healing a wounded soul, He begins by telling you who He is, who you are, and WHOSE you are. You belong to Him. The enemy of our souls would have believe that you are nothing and are worthless. But, YOU BELONG TO HIM!! You are worth more than anything else in all of creation. You are so worth so great a price that the only thing worthy to pay your ransom was the blood of Christ. That is what you are worth!!
In order to experience this healing you MUST reconnect your souls to God Almighty and allow His divinity to come in contact with the wound. We understand that it will take a level of trust that you seem to not have. But, the choice is yours...you can live with growing cancer of a wounded soul or you can take a risk and allow the Creator of your soul to touch the wound and heal it.
It is interesting that at the core of emotional abuse both the abuser and the victim are suffering from the same lack and the same root problem. Both have lost their identity. Both feel worthless. Both are suffering. Both are where they are by what they have been told.
It doesn't matter which one you are, victim or abuser, both of you can receive the healing from Jehovah simply by asking. We are praying for each of you.
Josh and Serena
However, our souls- the intangible piece of you and I that floats between the spirit and the body- does not have that ability naturally. That is why emotional abuse is almost more diabolical than physical abuse. Your body can recover and heal itself; your soul begins to feed on the injury and it turns into a cancer of the soul, eating away at all that is good and lovely.
Our souls are a most interesting piece of our make-up. We are the only created being that possesses a soul. Animals and plants do not have this. We were made in the image and likeness of God Himself. God blew into Adam's nostrils and filled him with His own life and man lived. No other being has God's breath filling and flooding their life. However, when Adam sinned and took all of us with him into a life of sin there was a severing between our soul and God's Spirit. We have been trying to get back to that place since the fall and this is why Jesus came. When the disconnect between us and God happened, our souls were left to fend for themselves. When we were connected to Him, His divinity was easily supplied to our inner man and we did not know sickness or injury to our souls.
Our souls are fed by whatever they are connected to. When we were connected to God, He feeds us and supplies what our souls need. When we are connected to something or someone other than God, our souls lack the completeness that was found in God. As a result, our souls become twisted, deformed, and vulnerable to any and all attacks. This is why emotional abuse is so deadly. It has the ability to kill from the inside out.
Victims of emotional abuse do not fit into any mold or demographic. On the outside they may look right as rain but on the inside they are crumbling to pieces. They put up brave fronts to the world but in secret they deal with depression, physical self abuse, and suicide. And within the marital context, the victim's mentality is extremely dangerous.
When we all pledged our life to our spouses, we joined our soul to theirs. We are no longer two but one...not only in body but in soul and spirit as well. And being joined to another in this manner, we allow ourselves to be opened up to anything and everything that our spouses connect with. They are able to access your deep inner man and you have access to theirs.
What does emotional abuse look like? That is a hard question to answer. It could look like nothing; it could look like everything. It can take the shape of rude and insensitive comments. It can take the appearance of belittling and hateful words. It can be no attention given when it is needed. It can play favorites. It can be the silent treatment or shouting matches laced with obscenities.
The purpose of emotional abuse, from a human viewpoint, is to tear a person down from the inside so that they will not fight back on the outside. It is tortuous and inhumane. If you treated your dog in this manner, the authorities would take them away from you. But, in this world and culture we are taught to keep silent about such matters between husbands and wives. The purpose of emotional abuse, from a spiritual viewpoint, is to make you forget who you are and WHOSE you are.
The words that are spoken over and to a spouse can hit harder than a prize-fighter and can cut deeper than a surgeon's scalpel. A wound suffered in the soul is one that is virtually impossible to heal, especially when dealt from the lips of the man or woman that you pledged your life to. This is not to say that it cannot be healed. But, wounds in the soul can only be healed by the One that put your soul there to begin with.
Even if the victim of emotional abuse (outside of the grace of God) is able to reconcile on the outside with their abuser and that abuse never happens again, there will always be a tiny piece in the back of their mind that says, "What if...?" Only through God and His unending grace and mercy can a victim emotional abuse find the healing that they so desperately need. When you allow God to begin the work of healing a wounded soul, He begins by telling you who He is, who you are, and WHOSE you are. You belong to Him. The enemy of our souls would have believe that you are nothing and are worthless. But, YOU BELONG TO HIM!! You are worth more than anything else in all of creation. You are so worth so great a price that the only thing worthy to pay your ransom was the blood of Christ. That is what you are worth!!
In order to experience this healing you MUST reconnect your souls to God Almighty and allow His divinity to come in contact with the wound. We understand that it will take a level of trust that you seem to not have. But, the choice is yours...you can live with growing cancer of a wounded soul or you can take a risk and allow the Creator of your soul to touch the wound and heal it.
It is interesting that at the core of emotional abuse both the abuser and the victim are suffering from the same lack and the same root problem. Both have lost their identity. Both feel worthless. Both are suffering. Both are where they are by what they have been told.
It doesn't matter which one you are, victim or abuser, both of you can receive the healing from Jehovah simply by asking. We are praying for each of you.
Josh and Serena
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Physical Abuse
Disclaimer: As we begin this series on abuse do not look at your own marriage for faults and flaws that are not there. While some marital situations are abusive not all are. Do not imagine something into existence because it justifies you and your reactions to the situation. If there is abuse in your marriage, we pray that this helps. If there is no abuse, please pray that those that need help would find it. Our definitions here are rather broad. Therefore, check your heart in regards to whether you are abusing or are being abused.
Most of the time when we think of abuse, we think of a drunken middle-aged man in a dirty and stained A-shirt on a rampage through his house. This is true for some but many times physical abuse takes on a more sinister disguise. Not all drunken middle-aged men in dirty and stained A-shirts are abusers; nor are all clean cut, well-educated and sober men NON-abusers. And physical abuse does not only come at the hands of angry men; women are physical abusers as well.
Physical abuse cannot be summed up or stereotyped into a single demographic. It occurs to those in the lowest of income brackets and in the homes of those that make millions. It happens in non-Christian homes as well as in the most prominent of positions within the church, the pastors. It crosses all boundaries- foreign, domestic, race, religion, conservatives, liberals, and sex.
Most physical abuse (that we hear about) occurs in the form of striking another individual with a body part or other object within reach. However, there is other physical abuse that is not so well known but just as evil. One of those ways would be the physical presence of the larger individual (most often the male) in the marriage. If their size and demeanor are used in a threatening way it can be abuse. Their physical make-up was never intended to be used as an intimidating factor so that they can get their way. It was given to protect and comfort those entrusted to them.
Another way would be within the sexual arena and marital bed. Abuse here can occur in different forms. First, sex can be used as a weapon against the other spouse. Both husbands and wives have the ability to wield this weapon. Sex was given for recreation and procreation between a husband and wife. Not to be withheld because you're "going to teach them a lesson." Another way that sex can be classified as abuse is when one spouse forces the other to engage in a form of sex that causes them to be uncomfortable or ashamed. We believe that all things between a husband and wife are permissible within the marriage bed....with the exception of that which grieves the body, soul, and spirit of the other. Another way that sex can be classified as abuse is when a spouse is more concerned with their own sexual gratification and will completely neglect the other once their need is fulfilled. This is not always abuse but can turn into it if left unchecked.
This is a sick and degenerative way of life for the abuser. It is sad and heart-breaking for the one being abused. When we spoke our vows to one another we did so with the intent in mind that this person that we were pledging our lives would not be hurt by us and would not intentionally hurt us. But, the joy and elation of the wedding day fades and the frustrations of married life come to the surface soon enough. And when one person does not know how to cope with the difficulties of married life and finds it easier to bully the other one in order to get their way, it becomes their way of life.
Now, for some real talk...and hope!
If you are the physical abuser in your marriage, you MUST stop!! NOW!! There is NEVER an excuse to use your body as a weapon against your beloved spouse. Just because you do not know how to deal with people in ways that do not include physical intimidation does not give you the right to do so. You are wrong and living in sin. We do not care about your position or title. You may be a just a blue collar worker (like Josh), a high-powered high society type, or stand behind a pulpit on Sunday mornings....if you use physical violence to run your marriage and family, you need to repent and ask the Holy Spirit to renew your heart and cause you to be the person that you were designed to be. You need to ask for forgiveness of those that you have abused.
If you have been on the receiving end of this type of relationship, the first thing you need to know is that it is not your fault. They are the way they are because they have not been taught. And the first thing you need to do is to FORGIVE them. Even if they have not asked for it, do it anyway. There is a blessing waiting for you when you can overcome the hurt of what has been done to you and forgive your enemy, even if the enemy is your own spouse. Depending on the severity and frequency of the abuse, a TEMPORARY separation may be in order so that BOTH of you can get the help that you need. Consult an older, wiser, more tempered saint to help you and your spouse navigate this delicate situation. Pray for your spouse. Do not give up on them. The enemy of our souls has somehow convinced them that this an acceptable way to deal with life. You do not know what God is able to do with you and through you if you will stay completely submitted to Him. For all you know your gentle spirit and quiet, peaceful composure may be just the thing that will win you spouse to Christ.
Abuse, though sad and terrifying, is not a reason for divorce. There is a place of healing, wholeness, and restoration in Christ. It is available to you simply by asking. Like we have said before (and will continue to say over and over and over), God is bigger. HE IS BIGGER!!!! Nothing can stand before Him. So, if you will remain humble before Him and submitted to Him, He will deal with those that would seek to do you harm. He will not sit idly by and watch as another would destroy one of His children. However, God's destruction of the abuser does not always look like we want it to. Sometimes His way of destroying the abuser is by making them one of His own.
Josh and Serena
Most of the time when we think of abuse, we think of a drunken middle-aged man in a dirty and stained A-shirt on a rampage through his house. This is true for some but many times physical abuse takes on a more sinister disguise. Not all drunken middle-aged men in dirty and stained A-shirts are abusers; nor are all clean cut, well-educated and sober men NON-abusers. And physical abuse does not only come at the hands of angry men; women are physical abusers as well.
Physical abuse cannot be summed up or stereotyped into a single demographic. It occurs to those in the lowest of income brackets and in the homes of those that make millions. It happens in non-Christian homes as well as in the most prominent of positions within the church, the pastors. It crosses all boundaries- foreign, domestic, race, religion, conservatives, liberals, and sex.
Most physical abuse (that we hear about) occurs in the form of striking another individual with a body part or other object within reach. However, there is other physical abuse that is not so well known but just as evil. One of those ways would be the physical presence of the larger individual (most often the male) in the marriage. If their size and demeanor are used in a threatening way it can be abuse. Their physical make-up was never intended to be used as an intimidating factor so that they can get their way. It was given to protect and comfort those entrusted to them.
Another way would be within the sexual arena and marital bed. Abuse here can occur in different forms. First, sex can be used as a weapon against the other spouse. Both husbands and wives have the ability to wield this weapon. Sex was given for recreation and procreation between a husband and wife. Not to be withheld because you're "going to teach them a lesson." Another way that sex can be classified as abuse is when one spouse forces the other to engage in a form of sex that causes them to be uncomfortable or ashamed. We believe that all things between a husband and wife are permissible within the marriage bed....with the exception of that which grieves the body, soul, and spirit of the other. Another way that sex can be classified as abuse is when a spouse is more concerned with their own sexual gratification and will completely neglect the other once their need is fulfilled. This is not always abuse but can turn into it if left unchecked.
This is a sick and degenerative way of life for the abuser. It is sad and heart-breaking for the one being abused. When we spoke our vows to one another we did so with the intent in mind that this person that we were pledging our lives would not be hurt by us and would not intentionally hurt us. But, the joy and elation of the wedding day fades and the frustrations of married life come to the surface soon enough. And when one person does not know how to cope with the difficulties of married life and finds it easier to bully the other one in order to get their way, it becomes their way of life.
Now, for some real talk...and hope!
If you are the physical abuser in your marriage, you MUST stop!! NOW!! There is NEVER an excuse to use your body as a weapon against your beloved spouse. Just because you do not know how to deal with people in ways that do not include physical intimidation does not give you the right to do so. You are wrong and living in sin. We do not care about your position or title. You may be a just a blue collar worker (like Josh), a high-powered high society type, or stand behind a pulpit on Sunday mornings....if you use physical violence to run your marriage and family, you need to repent and ask the Holy Spirit to renew your heart and cause you to be the person that you were designed to be. You need to ask for forgiveness of those that you have abused.
If you have been on the receiving end of this type of relationship, the first thing you need to know is that it is not your fault. They are the way they are because they have not been taught. And the first thing you need to do is to FORGIVE them. Even if they have not asked for it, do it anyway. There is a blessing waiting for you when you can overcome the hurt of what has been done to you and forgive your enemy, even if the enemy is your own spouse. Depending on the severity and frequency of the abuse, a TEMPORARY separation may be in order so that BOTH of you can get the help that you need. Consult an older, wiser, more tempered saint to help you and your spouse navigate this delicate situation. Pray for your spouse. Do not give up on them. The enemy of our souls has somehow convinced them that this an acceptable way to deal with life. You do not know what God is able to do with you and through you if you will stay completely submitted to Him. For all you know your gentle spirit and quiet, peaceful composure may be just the thing that will win you spouse to Christ.
Abuse, though sad and terrifying, is not a reason for divorce. There is a place of healing, wholeness, and restoration in Christ. It is available to you simply by asking. Like we have said before (and will continue to say over and over and over), God is bigger. HE IS BIGGER!!!! Nothing can stand before Him. So, if you will remain humble before Him and submitted to Him, He will deal with those that would seek to do you harm. He will not sit idly by and watch as another would destroy one of His children. However, God's destruction of the abuser does not always look like we want it to. Sometimes His way of destroying the abuser is by making them one of His own.
Josh and Serena
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Our Position on Abuse- An Overview
So, here we go....taking on a subject that feels WAY too big for our humble little blog and experience. But, nevertheless, we're taking a run at it. We're talking about ABUSE; particularly abuse within the confines of the marriage covenant. It is so sad that this even has to be a subject of a series of posts. The fabric of our society is tearing at the seams and this is an unfortunate and heart-breaking reality that so many have to deal with. Here is our basic position and we will try to expound on it in the days ahead.
1. It's wrong! There is no way of looking at it that will excuse it, neither is there any way to twist it into a good thing. It is evil. It is a perversion of the perfect plan of God. Abuse comes in many forms (physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual) and ALL of them are directly from the devil and seek to destroy that which God has deemed good and beautiful.
2. Anything used outside of it's intended purpose is abuse. If you use a butter knife as a screwdriver, you are abusing the butter knife. It destroys the knife AND the screw. If you use your marriage or your spouse in ways that were never meant for the marriage covenant, it's abuse. You will get hurt, your spouse will get hurt, and your marriage will suffer.
3. There is NO situation so big that God is not bigger still. It does not matter how great the sin performed by you or upon you, God's grace is still able to reach that sensitive area and cover it so that it will be healed and made whole. You have heard us say that God is bigger than divorce; He is also bigger than any kind of abuse. If you believe otherwise you are saying (even if you haven't vocalized it) that there is something or someone bigger than the Almighty.
4. Abuse is not an acceptable reason for divorce. In God's Word, He gave us only ONE reason for divorce....infidelity. And that ONE exception was only given because we continued to press Him for the a way out, not because that was His Divine Plan. And now, we are reaping the consequences of our stubbornness and arrogance that we, somehow, know a better way than the Everlasting God.
5. Recovery and restoration from abuse should not be dealt with alone. It should be handled by a skilled and qualified counselor. And by skilled and qualified we do not necessarily mean someone with lots of letters after their name (PhD, D.Theo, M.D., etc) By skilled and qualified we mean someone that speaks to God and hears the voice of the Holy Spirit, has the confidence and courage to do what the Holy Spirit says (even if it sounds absurd and crazy), has the boldness and fearlessness to not back down from evil, the gentleness to guide you on the path to complete recovery in Christ but with the tenacity to be in your face when you need it. This is not to say that those with degrees and training in abuse counseling cannot be of help; they can. However, if you are reading this you and are in an abusive situation, you want to stand for your marriage. Many people in the world will not share your same belief about this. That is why we suggest you find that person or people that can play that crucial role of counselor for you. This may be your pastor, your pastor's wife, close friend, or some other spiritual mentor.
6. In certain cases, temporary separation is an advisable option. Mind you, we said IN CERTAIN CASES, not ALL. Anytime a separation from a spouse is put in place the chances for divorce become so much greater. This is a time where the advice of a skilled and qualified counselor would be of great help.
7. There is ABSOLUTELY a healing and wholeness available to you through the work of Christ on the cross. There is no sickness, no wound, no disease...there is nothing that the blood shed by Jesus cannot cover and make new. Nothing we do and nothing done to us that He is able to heal. This is why Jesus came to us....to heal us and make us whole...body, soul and spirit.
This is just an overview of what we believe. We will be getting into some of the uglier parts of this unfortunate disease in the next few days. We love you all and are praying for you. Our prayer is that this will inspire and empower someone to make the difficult choice of listening to the Holy Spirit and stand for their marriage, regardless of what is happening around them and being done to them.
Josh and Serena
1. It's wrong! There is no way of looking at it that will excuse it, neither is there any way to twist it into a good thing. It is evil. It is a perversion of the perfect plan of God. Abuse comes in many forms (physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual) and ALL of them are directly from the devil and seek to destroy that which God has deemed good and beautiful.
2. Anything used outside of it's intended purpose is abuse. If you use a butter knife as a screwdriver, you are abusing the butter knife. It destroys the knife AND the screw. If you use your marriage or your spouse in ways that were never meant for the marriage covenant, it's abuse. You will get hurt, your spouse will get hurt, and your marriage will suffer.
3. There is NO situation so big that God is not bigger still. It does not matter how great the sin performed by you or upon you, God's grace is still able to reach that sensitive area and cover it so that it will be healed and made whole. You have heard us say that God is bigger than divorce; He is also bigger than any kind of abuse. If you believe otherwise you are saying (even if you haven't vocalized it) that there is something or someone bigger than the Almighty.
4. Abuse is not an acceptable reason for divorce. In God's Word, He gave us only ONE reason for divorce....infidelity. And that ONE exception was only given because we continued to press Him for the a way out, not because that was His Divine Plan. And now, we are reaping the consequences of our stubbornness and arrogance that we, somehow, know a better way than the Everlasting God.
5. Recovery and restoration from abuse should not be dealt with alone. It should be handled by a skilled and qualified counselor. And by skilled and qualified we do not necessarily mean someone with lots of letters after their name (PhD, D.Theo, M.D., etc) By skilled and qualified we mean someone that speaks to God and hears the voice of the Holy Spirit, has the confidence and courage to do what the Holy Spirit says (even if it sounds absurd and crazy), has the boldness and fearlessness to not back down from evil, the gentleness to guide you on the path to complete recovery in Christ but with the tenacity to be in your face when you need it. This is not to say that those with degrees and training in abuse counseling cannot be of help; they can. However, if you are reading this you and are in an abusive situation, you want to stand for your marriage. Many people in the world will not share your same belief about this. That is why we suggest you find that person or people that can play that crucial role of counselor for you. This may be your pastor, your pastor's wife, close friend, or some other spiritual mentor.
6. In certain cases, temporary separation is an advisable option. Mind you, we said IN CERTAIN CASES, not ALL. Anytime a separation from a spouse is put in place the chances for divorce become so much greater. This is a time where the advice of a skilled and qualified counselor would be of great help.
7. There is ABSOLUTELY a healing and wholeness available to you through the work of Christ on the cross. There is no sickness, no wound, no disease...there is nothing that the blood shed by Jesus cannot cover and make new. Nothing we do and nothing done to us that He is able to heal. This is why Jesus came to us....to heal us and make us whole...body, soul and spirit.
This is just an overview of what we believe. We will be getting into some of the uglier parts of this unfortunate disease in the next few days. We love you all and are praying for you. Our prayer is that this will inspire and empower someone to make the difficult choice of listening to the Holy Spirit and stand for their marriage, regardless of what is happening around them and being done to them.
Josh and Serena
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