The Covenant Trumps Everything

It is always so great when you read something in the Word of God that encourages you to keep focused on Him instead of your circumstances.  Recently, as we were reading with our kids in the book of Exodus, for school, we ran across some Scripture that reinforced the fact that God sides with the Covenant.  If you have a Bible, you should get it out to follow along and read for yourself.

As you may well know by now, we believe and take great comfort in the fact that God always sides with the Covenant.  It does not matter what the Covenant references.  He always will support, honor, defend, and remember His Covenant.  When God makes a Covenant with His people He does so knowing the full ramifications of His doing so.  He knows that we may fall short of upholding the Covenant.  He knows that we will forsake the terms of the Covenant.  He knows that we may not always honor the Covenant.  But He ALWAYS will remember His Covenant.  Even if it seems to us that it would be easier to negate the full terms of it and allow it to be forgotten.  He honors His Word that He swore in the Covenant.

Exodus 6 is the beginning of the story of when God has Moses lead the children of Israel out of Egypt.  There is some very interesting wording that is used in this passage.  In verse 4 it says, "I reaffirmed my Covenant with them."  What Covenant was God referring to?  The one that He made with Abraham MANY years before.  He had sworn in that Covenant that He would give Abraham and his descendants the land of Canaan.  God did not need reminding of His Covenant.  Verse 5 says the He heard the groans of Israel and was well aware of the Covenant.  The Covenant was still the foremost thought in the mind of God even though it was over 400 years that Israel had been in Egypt.

Israel could not understand that God had promised them land of Canaan but they were stuck as slaves in Egypt.  They could not see the fulfillment of the Covenant because of the situation that they were in.  In verse 9 it says that Israel had become too discouraged by the brutality of their slavery.  However, their situation (being slave in Egypt) or the brutality of it did not negate or detract from the terms of the Covenant.  God was still going to honor the covenant and bring them into that promised land.

Whats does this mean for us?  It means that in spite of the horrible situations that we find ourselves in our marriages that God has not forgotten the Covenant.  It means that in the midst of the brutality of our current circumstances that God's marriage Covenant is still His foremost thought towards us.  It means that although our marriage may look like Egypt, He is taking us from Egypt into Canaan, the land of promise.  Do NOT misread this and think that we are advocating you leaving your spouse in order to find a new relationship to get into or that we are suggesting that your marriage is not the promised land and you need to be waiting for a new marriage.  What we are saying is this: God has not forgotten His Covenant between Himself, you, and your spouse!  He remembers it in its fullness and is currently working to accomplish all of it.  Even though your circumstances may cause you to doubt His ability to accomplish it, He will still do it.  Why?  Because God CANNOT lie.  If He lied even once all of creation would crumble because everything that is was formed by His Word.  Therefore, the words that He spoke when the three of you (you, your spouse, and God Almighty) joined into the marital Covenant MUST be accomplished.

What we must realize and what the enemy of our souls (aka the Devil) wants us to forget is this: the Covenant trumps everything!  The power of Covenant does not reside with the weakest of participants and, as a result, easily broken.  The power of the Covenant comes from the most powerful of participants and, as a result can only be broken by one more powerful that He.  All lies are subject to the truth of the Covenant.  All disobedience is corrected by the honoring of the Covenant.  All other ties are broken by the binding of the Covenant.  The Devil knows that the Covenant is  binding agreement.  He knows that he has no legal ground upon which to stand.  He knows all of this and wants you to forget it.  However, it does not matter if you forget or have moments of doubt; the Lord is well aware of His Covenant.  He remembers it.  He honors it.  He defends it.  Even at our weakest moments, and when we cannot see the Covenant because of the brutality of the situation, He is still powerful and is remembering His sworn Covenant.

You may feel like you are in Egypt: a hopeless house of bondage from which you cannot escape the pain of. It may look like there is nothing good that can come from this situation.  But do NOT stop standing.  You don't have to advance the Covenant; you just have to hold on to it.  He will do bring in the fullness of the Covenant.

It may feel like Pharaoh (the Devil) is not allowing the Covenant to come to pass.  But, do not forget what Exodus 6 says.  Verse 1 says, "When he (Pharaoh) feels the force of My strong hand, he will let the people go.  In fact, he will force them to leave his land."  And in verse 6 is the promise, "I am the Lord.  I will free you from your oppression and will rescue from you from your slavery in Egypt.  I will redeem you with a powerful arm and great acts of judgment."

All we have to do is stand, friend.  Don't give up.  Take comfort in the fact that He remembers the Covenant and is actively working to cause it to happen...even if we can't see it at the moment.  The Covenant trumps EVERYTHING!!  The Covenant never loses!!  The Covenant is never lost!!

Josh and Serena

A New Season

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  Today we are thankful that we are still standing.  We are thankful that the work of God and His will is continuing to be made manifest in our life on a daily basis.  We are thankful for where He has brought us from and where He is leading us.

It has been some time since we have posted anything new.  While our voice has been temporarily silent during the last year, we have continued to be in prayer for you, your spouse, and the situations that you find yourselves in.

When we said good-bye over a year ago, we left you with a passage from Ecclesiastes 3 which says that there is season for everything under heaven.  Well, friends, we are embarking upon a new season.  We have gone through seasons of tearing down, of rebuilding, and of rest.  And in the past few weeks the Lord has begun to change the seasons for us.

We have noticed that this blog has continued to flourish in spite of our absence.  We believe that the Lord is telling us that there is more for this blog.  We don't even know what "more" means at this moment but we will be faithful and obedient to His leading.  We won't be posting on a daily basis like we were before.  But, we will be here.

So, after much prayer, conversations with each other,  and conversations with the Father we are back to writing.  We are not writing to make our names known or for others to stay updated with us.  We are writing for those out there that feel like they are in this fight alone.  We are writing for the ones out there searching and looking for someone that can relate to the pain they are enduring.  We are writing to be encourage those that feel like throwing in the towel to fight one more round.  We are writing to declare to this world the heart of the Father in regards to covenant.  We are writing to remind the devil that he cannot win but will always lose, not because of us, but because of Christ's redemptive work of the cross.

By us following the Holy Spirit's leading by picking up our pens again means that we are volunteering to go back to the front lines in this war.  We have weighed the gravity of this choice and with cautious, but willing, hearts we head to the front.  Please, pray for us as we wield His Sword and hold up His standard and Word.

We have His perfect peace in this new season.  Keep standing!

Josh and Serena

How, How, How?

I (Serena) get this question constantly.  How did you do it?  I mean, really?  Fellow Standers, this is not about how...it's different for every one of us in terms of the exact details of HOW.  BUT it's grace for the situation you are in--Grace comes from the Lord.

Grace: God's sovereign divine ability to get the job done on our behalf when we can't do it ourselves.  God's power in me to do what His will demands of me.  (Definition courtesy of Pastor Jim Cobrae, The Rock Church and World Outreach Center)

A good explanation of grace is found in the epistle to the Philippians: "For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure" (2:13).

God resists the proud; it is to the humble that He gives grace. Faith (the kind that comes from God) is the knowledge of God's will for you, and grace is the God-given desire and power to do His will.

Faith without action is dead, and you can only accomplish God's revealed will as you humble yourself before Him and receive the grace to do it. The Christian's sinful nature is still with him until he leaves his body, and if you were left to yourself you would not do God's will---you would have neither the desire nor the power to do it. Without Him you can do nothing (John. 15:5).  So, really, this is NOT about me...this is about Christ in me. When I realize that it was too hard to keep GOING...most often it was because of those times in prayer were not what they SHOULD be; TOO much whining and not enough seeking His face! 

Grace in a crisis may just need to be accessed at every moment.  Many times I had to get that measure of grace.  We can all access it, but we have to do the work.  God will supply it.

Josh and Serena

Love Don't Run

Whenever we post a video, hopefully, we inspire you to keep fighting just a little bit longer for your marriage.  Sometimes the inspiration may come from Christian places, sometimes it might come through other means.  Today it comes through a country western song.  Truth is truth no matter where it comes from.  So, don't run!  (Disclaimer: It has some mild language in the first couple lines.  But, if you are walking this road, you will understand.)

Satan's Mouthpiece

Satan’s objective in taking people captive is to get them to do his will. and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. (2 Tim 2:26)

Have you been praying that your spouse comes to their senses and escapes the enemy?  We certainly hope so, because it's the best method!!! There is no sense in battling your spouse, because we aren't in war with them, this is not against flesh and blood. 

“There is nothing that Satan can do for his evil cause that he does not do. We may be halfhearted, but he never is. He is the very image of ceaseless industry and untiring earnestness. He will do all that can be done in the time of his permitted rage. We may be sure that he will never lose a day.” Charles Spurgeon

“Be selfcontrolled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for

someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 Your spouse is NOT the enemy. 

The last few weeks we have received some e-mails from standers who are being attacked by this enemy-the devil.  Why is your spouse speaking lies? The answer is actually simple enough.....we are told in the Bible that we cannot serve two masters.  When your spouse walks away from God they have allowed themselves to be taken captive by the devil.   You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44 

When you hear lies don't hang onto them.  Let them go.  Allow God to speak truth into your heart. 

The prodigal said:
     "I never loved you."
The Lord said: 
     "I have loved you with an everlasting love."  Jeremiah 31:3

The prodigal said:
     "You never satisfied me."
The Lord said:
     "You open your hand and satisfy the desireds of every living thing." Psalm 145:16

The prodigal said:
     "I am never coming  back."
The Lord said:
     "He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him."  Psalm 126:6

The prodigal said:
     "I hate you."
The Lord said:
      "Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed."  John 3:20

The prodigal said: 
     "You act so holy."
The Lord said:
     "For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life." I Thessalonians 4:7

The prodigal said: 
     "I don't know what to do."
The Lord said:
     "Come, follow me."  Mark 1:17


Fill yourself with the truth of God's word.  Do not listen to the lies coming from your spouse's mouth. Do not be side-tracked by your circumstance. God is working.  The Holy Spirit continues to work behind the scenes, so let's not lose focus.

Josh and Serena

Weathering the Storm

Yesterday, while I was working, I experienced one of the summer thunderstorms that Northern Colorado is known for.  Usually they come in quickly, dump a lot of water, and then disappear almost as quickly.  However, they never come in at an opportune time and rarely are you prepared for them, even if you payed attention to the weatherman.  They often hit when you are busy doing something that you would prefer to be dry for.  Needless to say, I got drenched from head to foot.   However, I still managed to get my work done.

Sound a bit like married life?  Comes in quick, makes a mess, happens at the worst times, can leave just as fast but leaves you all wet...yea, that's how storms come and go.  But, the storms in married life don't have to leave you defeated or depressed.  You may not necessarily feel mighty and victorious but you will know that you got through another storm.

Jesus' disciples found themselves caught in some storms during their time with Jesus.  They freaked out just like we do but still made it through the storm.  I doubt that they felt powerful after the storm; they probably felt pretty foolish seeing as they were WITH Jesus (in the flesh) and they still were worried about their tiny little lives.

I don't believe that the storms that we endure are always from God but I do believe that He uses them to draw us closer to Him.  When the disciples feared for their life they ran to Jesus.  When the storm gets ugly enough we do the same...or at least we should!  And when the storm is over, we learn that we have not died and that we CAN make it through.

I have had to work (at my actual job) enough times through ugly weather to know how much I can take before I call it quits.  Today actually pushed me a little farther than I would usually endure.  My client asked me if I wanted to step into the garage while the storm raged.  I declined.  Not because I love the working in mud and rain and hail but because I was almost done and knew I could finish it if I set my mind to do it.  I got the work done in a relatively short time, in spite of the rain.  And besides, I was already wet!  Why wait in the garage and be wet when I could be wet and have the work done?

Translate that to our marriages...I am sure you have dealt with some ugly situations in your marriage in the past.  Maybe a fight that got out of hand or some hard choices that you eventually had to deal with.  Either way, you made it through.  You didn't die.  Maybe a little rough around the edges now but you're on the other side of it now.  So, the storm you are facing now is pushing you farther than you would like.  You have two choices...1. Get wet in the storm and have to deal with it and have nothing to glorify God with or 2. Get wet, deal with it and let your stand bring glory to God.  Either way, you are going to get wet!  You might as well be wet and have stood your ground for your spouse and your marriage.  You cannot escape the storm...you're already in it...might as well finish the work, endure the storm, and make God look good.

The more storms you face, the more you will learn how to deal with them.  It doesn't mean you will EVER like the storm but you will KNOW that you are bigger than the storm because the God inside of you is bigger!!

1 John 4:4b

...because the Spirit who lives in you

is greater

than the spirit who lives in the world.

Josh and Serena

His Story

If you could look ahead in time and see the fruits of what you are doing by standing for your marriage...if you could hop into a time machine and go back to where it all went downhill and then jump ahead to the future and see how it all worked out...if you could somehow catch a glimpse of what the Father sees when He looks at you...do you think it would give you the strength the to finish this project you have started in standing for your marriage?  I would venture to say, YES!!

Why would seeing how it all turns out, for your good, inspire you or give you strength to keep going?  Because it is your testimony!!  Even though you can't see it right now or is very difficult to see through the pain of your current situation, your testimony is being written by the hand of the Almighty...even as we speak!  You testimony, authored by God, is not done yet.  God is not in the habit of writing dark comedies or horror novels.  He is not writing your testimony to be a mystery or a comedy of errors.  He has not written you into a 3 Stooges picture or a comic book.  We don't understand His creative writing process but His stories (your testimony) always finish with the most AMAZING endings.  We think Hollywood comes up with wild twists at the end of movies....you've not even begun to see God work!!

What makes God's stories (your testimony) so ridiculously awesome is that His stories never end up with you or I being exalted or glorified.  His story ALWAYS finishes with Him being glorified to the highest, exalted above every other thing, and He alone being seen.  In the end of God's story (your testimony) you fade into the background and He rises to the forefront.

You see, right now, you are the one in the spotlight.  You are the one that is enduring the pain.  You are the one that has caused pain.  You are suffering.  You are holding on beyond hope.  People mock you because of your stance.  You are carrying the shame of what you have done to your spouse.  Whatever it may be, you are being seen by all.

But, soon, He will be seen!  He will rise to the occasion of completing your story and displaying His awesome power.  All of your pain will be used to glorify Him.  All of your shame will exalt Him.  Everything that was used against you, said about you, done to you will be brought forth to honor the King of all Kings!!

We don't know now how or when He will do it.  In fact, from where we stand it seems impossible.  It seem ludicrous to think that good can come from the evil you have endured.  But, He will do it...if you let Him.  If you let Him write it and be willing to be simply a character in the story of God, He will do it.  He will not fail or get writer's block.  He will use each and every thing about you in telling the story about Himself.  Through you, He will display RECONCILIATION!  Through you, He will display LOVE!!  Through you, He will show the world that there IS a God in heaven that deeply loves people, regardless of what they look like or what they have gone through.  All through you...

So, don't give up now!  Hold on!!  Don't give up on reading His story (your testimony) as it is played out in your life!!  The best part has yet to be written!!

Romans 8:28

And we know that God causes everything to work together

for the good of those who love God

and are called according to his purpose for them.



Josh and Serena

Rose-Colored Glasses

Have you found yourself discouraged?  Does it seem hopeless? Do you wonder if your spouse will EVER be the person you hoped? 

Let's take a step back.....are we perfect? Does God look at us and think we are hopeless causes?  Do you think He wonders at times if we will EVER be the person He hoped we would be?  Okay, yes, I realize that He is God, but how many times have we failed to follow His best?  Are we holding our spouses to a standard we ourselves don't even attain?  Are we REALLY being fair?  Do we want our loving Father to treat us with the same standards we hold for our spouses?  I, for one, don't want Him to be fair.

Don't we actually want Him to deal with us in LOVE AND MERCY? 

Maybe it would help if we gave some verses to show you how your Heavenly Father sees your spouse...and yes, even that spouse who doesn't SEEM to want anything to do with God. God wants ALL of  people to KNOW Him, so start confessing and praying these verses over them, to get in your heart that GOD wants them right with Him, more than even you want it.

Genesis 1:26-27     They are created in God's image.
Matthew 5:13, 14     They are salt and light of the world. Speak it out!
John 1:12     They are a child of God.
Romans 5:1     They are not condemned by God.
I Corinthians 3:9     God's fellow work and His building
I Corinthians 3:16-17     They are the temple of the Holy Spirit.
II Corinthians 5:17     They are a new person in Christ.
II Corinthians 4:16     Confess they are a renewed person daily.
Philemon 6     Pray the Lord fills them with the knowledge of every good thing.
I Peter 2:9-10     Pray that they realize they are a chosen race, a royal priest, and a citizen of a holy nation.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.  2 Peter 3:9

Learning to act as Christ will be the only way we can truely stand for our marriages in an upright, holy, way....be like Christ--be patient, not wanting "get what they deserve," but to come to repentance.  Some might say this is just lying to yourself, some might say you view life through rose-colored glasses.  I think our Heavenly Father often does this for us....and the view through those glasses can really make all the difference.  Don't you think?

Josh and Serena

Get Revenge

Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Who are you fighting?  Have you forgotten?  Are you finding that you are taking revenge out on your spouse?  Maybe you are even finding some progress in the things you have been applying, but you are still unsatisfied.  That's okay....take it out on the RIGHT thing!!

Get your joy, your peace, your self-esteem, your time, your place and voice in God....get it ALL back, and FIGHT for it!!! 

I (Serena) had to have listened to this song EVERY day for 4 months...oh, and I had it on REPEAT!!!  It still just makes me wanna SHOUT!!!  I WANT IT ALL BACK!!! And my favorite...."you wouln't have bothered me if you had known what I was gonna be....."    Let that be your cry when you get tired!!!!  Get mad at the devil; make him wish he had NEVER thought to bother you!!!



Right For the Job

The past few days at work I have had to endure a job that I very much disliked.  And yesterday was the culmination of all of the preparation I had done.  I was responsible for cutting into a large water main and installing a valve for a new client's landscape irrigation system.  The past two days involved locating the main from the plans, digging it up (it was 4 ft. deep), purchasing all of the parts, and cutting into it.  I had contacted the company that manages the property to inform them of my plans and to obtain the information about the valves that would shut off the water so that I could work in it.  Well, I shut the valves, cut the line, and then waited for it to drain.  It drained for over 24 hours and was not about to stop.  So, the managing company sent a guy out o help me shut off the entire system.  After he did I was able to finish my job, which was the part I was dreading.  That was, to jump into this huge, muddy hole and begin to clear the mud so that I could plumb my valve in.  Let's just say that I was not a happy camper!

I didn't have a bad attitude; I just didn't want to do it.  It was dirty, wet, and tough to do.  But, that is what my employer pays me for.  He calls for me when the job needs to be done in a certain manner and trusts my work.  That is the reputation that I have established with him.  It makes for many of my jobs and projects to be less than enjoyable.  However, he has entrusted me with some of his most delicate work issues knowing that I will come through for him.  When the job needs to get done, I am the man for the job.

You may be wondering, "How is this work story connected to marriage and standing for them?"  Let me explain...

Most of us started our married lives in relative peace in our relationship.  We expected life to be roses and perfume all of the time.  We were going to be like marshmallows and hot chocolate, peanut butter and jelly, or peas and carrots all of our days.  No bad would befall us because we LOVED each other.  It's why we got married, right?

But, that's not how life turned out, is it?  The roses turned out to have more thorns than you imagined.  You got hurt by your spouse.  You hurt your spouse.  I hurt my wife.  I nearly derailed my marriage.  Life got ROUGH!

Now, if you believe that nothing is chance...that everything has a purpose...that God has been orchestrating and choreographing your entire life....each and every moment He has known about and taken into consideration, then you have to realize that even this crisis that you are walking through is by His design.  This is not to say that God made your spouse do what they did to you.  However, it does say that YOU, by His design, were the right person for this situation.

It means that He knew your unique make-up of traits, attributes, talents, and character would be exactly what He needed to make the difference in your spouse's life.  He knows your weaknesses and faults but is able to work through them and show Himself strong through them.  As ugly as the situation is or may get, you are not in it by accident.  There is something that God is desiring to do in you and through you by His grace.  You are the man/ woman for the job of YOUR marriage restoration.

Yea, I know....you don't want to do it.  I didn't want to have to do the plumbing work in that main line, either.  It's not fun.  There is little to no recognition for all the mess you have to put up with.  You feel mistreated and used.  You are overlooked and under appreciated.  But, regardless, you are the right person for the job.  When God saw the situation that was about go down, He saw you and said, "There you are; I have been looking for you.  I need for you to be who you are and endure this situation.  No one else can do it.  You are perfectly suited for this."

Now, at first glance, this may not appeal to you or seem to be encouraging.  But, I tell you it is.  Going back to me and my work, I get very frustrated sometimes when I think about the task at hand that my boss is asking me to do.  It is tough and, usually, exhausting.  But, when I step back and see that he gives me these job because he trusts me and knows I can handle them with integrity and faithfulness,  I feel much better.  God is not giving you the trial you are walking through because He dislikes you or has forgotten about you.  Just the opposite is true.  He HAS considered you.  He HAS thought about you.  He has bestowed trust upon you knowing that you will not let Him down by giving up.

Here is what the Word of God says about you...

Romans 8:28 We know that God causes everything to work together^[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Psalms 139:16 You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in your book.  Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Job 1:8 And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?

God needs you!  Your spouse needs you (even if they say they don't, they still do!)!  Be the right person for the job!

Josh

Remembering

If we repeat ourselves or the stories sound similar, it's only because of passion. I know, without a doubt, that hearing the same things over actually helped me in the waiting times.  I needed to know I was not alone, and I was NOT the only one who hurt or felt a certain way. 

Being pregnant right now has caused lots of reflection as these last few months would have been the same time-frame as when Josh was gone while I was pregnant with Levi.  Having less sleep, less energy seems like something I would never survive at this moment, but God gives us what we need when we need it.  I spent many late nights praying, crying, and getting no sleep.  At this point I am so exhausted I can't get enough energy or sleep right now.  God is so gracious.  During the most stressful time in my life I had great health--God kept me.

A sermon at church last weekend talked about admitting that we are finite opens us up to the infinite God.  Without a doubt I could NOT do this alone I needed LOTS of help, and I thrived because of the infinite God and His strength. It was NOT about me or my strength; it was Him.  If I found that I was overly discouraged or upset I would just go back to God's Word.  I tell you...it was the ONLY way.  Relying on ourselves will only make the stander feel discouraged as it really does seem endless. We completely understand, and we understand the need for encouragement.

For encouragement:• God hates divorce – Malachi 2:15-16
• No weapon formed against you shall prosper – Isaiah 54:17
• The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. – 2 Cor. 10:4
• Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. – Ephesians 6:11
• For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places – Ephesians 6:12
• If God is for us, who can be against us? – Romans 8:31
• It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. – Galatians 5:1


Other verses to read for yourself and for encouragement:
• Colossians 1:9-14
• Colossians 3:5-14
• Romans 8:28
• Galatians 5