Journal Entry

some exerpts from April 10, 2008

Either Christ can satisfy our deepest needs or God's Word is deceptive. 

Ephesians 3:18-19 (New International Version) may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Who am I plugged into? Am I getting my needs met by God or am I plugged into the wrong battery source?

The Father's love is DEEP!!!

God responds to persistence.  God never wants to ruin his reputation.  AND He wants to give us life more abundantly.  If we ask He wants/desires to give us what He promised.  Is my life "more abundant?"   If I am not getting what the Lord has promised--maybe I am not diligently asking and being persistent in my petition.  Am I totally dependent on Him, like a daughter who has all her needs met by a loving Father?  Is He my all?

No matter how long a list of negative things or lies I can think of about myself--God will speak the opposite.

Summed up in His Word:  1 John 4:4 (The Message)

My dear children, you come from God and belong to God. You have already won a big victory over those false teachers, for the Spirit in you is far stronger than anything in the world. These people belong to the Christ-denying world. They talk the world's language and the world eats it up. But we come from God and belong to God. Anyone who knows God understands us and listens. The person who has nothing to do with God will, of course, not listen to us. This is another test for telling the Spirit of Truth from the spirit of deception.

We can be our own worst critic--so knock it off and believe God's Word....He is greater!  He wants to fill us with His love more abundantly, and He wants to shine through us. He wants us to know He is greater than any lie you believe about yourself.  If you are a child of the King, then you are greater than ANYTHING out there in the world that might be grabbing your spouse's attentions.  Don't believe the lies of Satan that you are not....YOU ARE GREATER--THROUGH HIM!!!

 

Journaling

When you get discouraged turn away from the circumstances and turn to God in prayer. Ask Him for the answers you seek. Read special scriptures you have received in days past. Turn off the television and turn on Christian music. Call a prayer partner and ask for specific prayer for this day. If you are keeping a journal, look back at all that God has done for you. If you haven't been journaling, start now. Your journal, which need be only a notebook, can become the friend with whom you share your victories and your hurts. AND I do NOT mean an online journal.

If you say, yes, but I don't like to journal.  Honest, I am not your typical journal-keeper, but I had to keep one.  I would get so discouraged; I would get so hurt. BUT I knew it was just the enemy trying to come in and make me want to give up.  My journals are something that were private, raw, and real.  Being a rollercoaster of emotion when I had to actually TALK to Josh or deal with him made me realize that I had to WRITE it down or I would ruin any attempt at Josh's return home being peaceful.  If I shared my feelings with everyone no one would want to ever see him again.  If I shared all of it, my children would have hated their father.  So, I am not saying I never struggled, but I believed that he would home ONE day.  If I had written everything that happened between us during those 4 months Josh would have never felt safe enough to come home. 

Having the testimonies and the struggles written down have allowed me to write some of the things you have already read. When God does a complete healing it's amazing what things He helps remove from our memories. I happen to have a computer database memory file, and I have had to ask the Lord to take those things that hurt so badly and move them to the recycle bin.  Many things I don't even remember until I read the journals.  God is so good.

Remember, the enemy will turn up the heat when your miracle is about to happen. Expect the Lord to help you in this day of discouragement, for we know He will.

"Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. In the day of my trouble, I will call to you, for you will answer me." Psalm 86:6-7